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Starting Mode (Free verse) by zenhaircut
Long-haired men drive us crazy
Warm hands clench beer cans,
Hastening transiting consciousness.
She's '96 in jeans and flannel,
I'm someone's fleeting daughter.
Let's not fastfoward.
Smoke-induced nebulous room,
We're shortsighted, looking far beyond
Gaudy moon-stroked glass, pavement.
We dissipate, you and I.
Our soles proceed our souls,
Heart-beats against linoleum, no longer cold.
We danced to bad music,
My freeform flail, you, less tense
A million stares upon us, disregarded.
This is starting mode.
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.3333333
Weighted score: 4.8013287
Overall Rank: 11140
Posted: June 23, 2004 12:59 PM PDT; Last modified: June 23, 2004 12:59 PM PDT
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Comments:
129 view(s)
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"Our soles preceed our souls,"
"no longer cold," not needed.
"My freeform flails"
Is your friend really 96 and dancing?