Re: The Monogamous by Sasha	27-Nov-07/8:50 PM
I like it a lot. Would scratch the parentheses and the colon though.
Re: Again with the venting by hobojo	27-Nov-07/8:54 PM
The last verse is quite good I think. It's the summation of most complaints. But we all know that "just and even" never happens.
Re: Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT	27-Nov-07/8:58 PM
Scratch the "and" in Verse 1. I like "quarterback of the linear team." Space after the comma in Verse 3. Last line is provocative.
Re: Engine Braking by INTRANSIT	4-Dec-07/1:40 PM
Whenever I see and hear a big-rig down-hilling with jake-brake screaming, I wonder if the driver still has ears, much less, whether he hears the wind a cooling fan makes. Maybe those things are super-sound-insulated, never been there. Tach and speed align at what? - 40mph, 4000rpm?
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Dec-07/1:48 PM
"She smiles like the coyness of world peace, before world war tomorrow." - love it. Slept takes = Sleep takes, I think. "Deep, like that of an addict" -> Deep like an addict - try that.
regarding some deleted poem...	4-Dec-07/1:53 PM
One of your best! Plain phrases, strong and clear, replace your sometimes otherworld wanderings.
Re: uh..huh.. by nobody	4-Dec-07/1:55 PM
too many words, too little said
Re: Day Dream by Jessina	4-Dec-07/2:00 PM
a nice attempt at old-time charm. Some of the articles and pronouns can go I think, i.e. "Where he waltz with his amazing charm" = Where he waltzes with amazing charm. With treasured violin in hand Composing blissful ardent hymns
Re: disregard by Skamper	4-Dec-07/2:05 PM
First 5 lines draw me in, then into what? You lose me in midstream, and at the end I wonder what I read.
Re: 7 Deadly Sins by forsaken	8-Dec-07/7:08 PM
Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride - Yep, you've sinned them all and deserver hellfire without possibility of parole. That's what you deserve, but because of one who already paid, you get better than you deserve if you want it. However, the sins of "your still save with me", "that bad that", and "I haven't crave in such awhile" are simply unforgivable.
Re: Whore of Babylon by oneglove	8-Dec-07/7:11 PM
Lines 3 and 4 are good. The rest, well, a work in progress.
regarding some deleted poem...	19-Dec-07/11:50 AM
I like the parallel last lines of V1 and V3. Good throughout, except: What have you got against punctuation in last line of V2, since you use it throughout?
Re: Shiver by Skamper	19-Dec-07/11:53 AM
Very spare. Too spare I think. First verse is good. "creating moments" is overused, especially standing alone. "issues slick"?
Re: Happy Birthday by jessicazee	21-Dec-07/11:13 AM
The Christmas timing makes me wonder and chuckle. But I think it's tender and not Christmasey, but affectionate and giving. At least that's my take on it.
Re: Milk and gas by Caducus	21-Dec-07/11:17 AM
a sad tale well told.
Re: Running Local by INTRANSIT	30-Dec-07/2:29 PM
Trucker terms, or Greek, who knows. I cycle with the biggest, rumba with the Macs. Parkour stumps me. Please, not over a fence. Fly ball and swerve on - I wont ask. Now, elope for a few on the server, I like. When ignorant, vote 7.
Re: Absorb by Skamper	30-Dec-07/2:33 PM
Answer: Soak it up and spit it out. Good philosophy.
Re: You're passionate by EAger to Offend	17-Jan-08/4:24 PM
"Deep fascinations, shallow understanding" That ought to be everyone's goal
Re: The dumping world by Prince of Void	17-Jan-08/4:29 PM
Answer to Question 1: none Answer to Question 2: everyone Get involved here: http://www.hopedevelopment.org/ or somewhere, else cry in your beer.
Re: Life is a moment by Prince of Void	17-Jan-08/4:30 PM
ok, but get the grammar right, it irks me.