Re: Show me the way by Joi	28-Aug-07/1:35 PM
Do you read Gerald Manley Hopkins? He's pretty Christian for a Jesuit. But he elaborates in such detail it becomes finally obstacle, rather than assistance. I think you do the opposite, handing us generalities without much specific life-gouging. I'd rather see you "tossed" than hear you say you are tossed, and see these "free" things the Lord gives you.
Re: daddy's little girl by imfine_really7	28-Aug-07/1:41 PM
The second half is better than the first. Tone down the self-pity in the first half.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Aug-07/5:27 PM
When I stop laughing I'll get back to you.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Sep-07/2:15 PM
attorceous mispeling and miss-gramer
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Sep-07/4:22 PM
Dismal. Those drivers in the cafe pass their rest break, talking to some cycling woman like she's got loose from it all and tell her to be careful.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Oct-07/7:01 PM
I love most of this and only wish you'd swing the rest of it over to its tender majority. "like Christ on electrodes" seems too distant from the theme to work as metaphor. "Shrapnel" also feels too sharp for such tender feelings.
Re: Under The Knife by PoetryIsDead	7-Oct-07/7:09 PM
too involved for haiku, I think. But the last line is clever.
Re: I Hope by BrandonW	7-Oct-07/7:15 PM
A good theme and mostly well executed. The rhymes seem more distraction than poetry. and "I hope" at the end adds what?
Re: Winter Moon by Musicman	24-Oct-07/11:39 AM
This is good. I think the telling "bittersweet" opener can go. "the serpentine swell" - drop "the" I think. Actually, take a look at all the articles in verse 2. We are not all dunces here, but most have left due to boredom. Welcome.
Re: Bullfrog Night by Musicman	24-Oct-07/11:40 AM
I hate the 5-7-5 restriction some people place on haiku, which in this case requires an unnecessary "the" in line 2. Otherwise good.
Re: On Any Given Day... by Skamper	26-Oct-07/4:25 PM
I love "she speaks cream linen from painted lips." Too many dashes throuout.
Re: a bit of theory by pete	26-Oct-07/4:28 PM
It would be nicer if you give reasons to proclamations. I agree though.
Re: Dulacca - for a day by Skamper	1-Nov-07/8:39 AM
A nice nostalgia. Where is this joint?
Re: homer simpson by malpaso	1-Nov-07/8:46 AM
I like embiggens. At least capitalize her name. Line 4 adds ambiguity - good. I don't know homer, would like to.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Nov-07/8:52 AM
Good expression, good ideas, may they rest in peace.
Re: Some poems by INTRANSIT	4-Nov-07/5:42 PM
Yeah, got a few stuck the tubes. Prefer a more descriptive title; I mean describing the good ones in some cute way. Like it a lot.
Re: Turning British by INTRANSIT	10-Nov-07/5:34 PM
Ok, lets see if we can DA and SR outa the pub long enough to declare it all false. I doubt if they sing any version of Amazing Grace.
Re: AKA Poets by Skamper	15-Nov-07/7:54 AM
This sounds vaguely familiar. Maybe it is adapted from Billy Collins as the 18-wheeling poet suggests. Haven't time to look. If not, you get an unabashed 10.
Re: It's about truckin' by INTRANSIT	15-Nov-07/7:58 AM
Good. Sounds real, as if you actually believe it. "having" in verse 2 sounds weak.
Re: Missing - You by Skamper	27-Nov-07/8:43 PM
It has a good rhythm and a good subtle message. Would be nice if the Word 2 pattern continued: little, quiet, secret, . . . rain/sane rhyme seems a bit forced. Verse 2 is my favorite. The last line is disappointing and vague, seems unsupported.