Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

I Hope (Lyric) by BrandonW
You didn't let me pull the reins on what I'd become Too much damage had been done You didn't want to have to see that part of me the man I'd long forgotten how to be When I was loving I redefined the words meaning My darkest hours just overpowered everything I couldn't help it I'm still not shamed to say I cried There on the floor is where I left my pride It was a blessing Though I only see that now I still wish I could make it up to you somehow You are my lesson One I never would have learned If I'd not offered my soul to burn I guess I'll leave it to the laws of the Universe and hope there's some truth behind these words I hope

Up the ladder: Owl Eyes

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 3.5
Weighted score: 4.928861
Overall Rank: 9275
Posted: October 5, 2007 4:04 PM PDT; Last modified: October 5, 2007 4:04 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 66.215.80.177 | 7-Oct-07/7:15 PM | Reply
A good theme and mostly well executed. The rhymes seem more distraction than poetry. and "I hope" at the end adds what?
[n/a] BrandonW @ 76.97.67.182 > Dovina | 7-Oct-07/8:09 PM | Reply
i sometimes find it hard to deviate from writing the 100% spot-on factual truth about some events.. hell, even for the sake of the piece.. this just being another example of that.. coming to the end of my thoughts all i could do was let it be and hope that there was some truth in what i was saying.. i hope
162 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001