Re: a comment on Swoon by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	3-Jun-05/10:26 AM
“Dangling hands and outward thumbs”: Stand with your hands dangling at your sides. If someone takes your hands from behind and turns your thumbs outward, then pulls them back, what happens? You rest against his chest. “Your breasts feel connected or do you?”: I feel connected with the women in my past, and the feeling is also in my breasts. “Unique line of womanhood”: I’m referring to my ancestry, and never thought of the way you‘ve taken it. It’s funny, really! “The reality dream ending loses me”: It’s a questionable ending for sure. I meant that the reality of the thing he was describing became so overwhelming that it seemed like a dream – a swoon. “Facing east”: The direction only matters in the specific setting, and I have no right to expect anyone to know that. Glad you like it heaps anyway.
Re: a comment on Soldier by kev_wannabe	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	3-Jun-05/10:23 AM
<< With great courage and hope >> A soldier is always a hero who did 'the right thing', as long as he doesn't start messing up the pretty warpictures by returning mutilated or bothering the homeland with incurable war trauma's. America has not been very kind to his sick Vietnam & Gulf veterans; branding them cowards. Maybe with your last lines you tried to give it a cynical twist, but you did not succeed.
Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	3-Jun-05/10:03 AM
It's a good poem about private revenge. But I fail to see how it applies to this poem.
Re: Fair Warning by cockmage	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.115	3-Jun-05/8:36 AM
Bad limerick. How does picked rhyme with kid, Mockmage?
Re: a comment on Wanted by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.138	3-Jun-05/7:45 AM
Here it is. http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=159 what do you think?
Re: Inspiration from absurdity by INTRANSIT	fevriere 62.254.128.7	3-Jun-05/7:40 AM
Funky.
Re: Wanted by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/7:35 AM
Done. and I found something while roaming the ranker halls. Let me get the address....
Re: Structure of a Woman by al-naafiysh	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/6:38 AM
CUT! CUT! Hold it. There's too much unnecessary stuff here. If you want the end-rhyme then GET the end rhyme. But Iron out the lines. Take a T-sqare to them and listen to the beats. You've got plenty to work with. It's not bad. Just far from what it can be.
Re: Soldier by kev_wannabe	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/6:35 AM
Yes, we know. And if the greater population all agreed to not show up for work until "our boys and girls" get sent home, well, the nation's gonna collapse either way.
Re: Swoon by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/6:30 AM
And the title is too generic. This, from one of the Kings of genericism, ha!
Re: Swoon by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/6:30 AM
Ok, here are my nits. Dangling hands and outward thumbs may be too descriptive. Does he really take your Hands? Or does he use your upper arms. Your breasts feel connected or do you? Unique line of womanhood sounds like he's got women all over the globe to me. The reality dream ending loses me, but I might not be reading it at the right speed there. Keep in mind there may be references in this that I just don't understand. Facing east for starters. I don't get it but I'm sure you're facing that way for a reason. I still like this heaps.
Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.197	3-Jun-05/6:10 AM
The first seemed like notes scribbled tiredly so thought wouldn't be lost. This is mucho bene. Romance, religion, politicos, bullets, the true nature of all that is. These are honest tens I give.
Re: a comment on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	zodiac 212.118.19.125	3-Jun-05/5:47 AM
Can I ask you a question? I have a square-bottomed container resting on its bottom, which is square. The bottom is 1 foot by 1 foot. How much beer would just cover the bottom? What if you were using a superfine atomiser-sprayer capable of spraying a layer of beer 1 molecule thick?
Re: a comment on Life and Love by windyone	zodiac 212.118.19.125	3-Jun-05/5:45 AM
10 and 9.
Re: a comment on Life and Love by windyone	zodiac 212.118.19.125	3-Jun-05/5:36 AM
I don't think it makes any sense without the pleasure of analyzing included.
Re: Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1	Dovina 69.175.32.185	2-Jun-05/7:33 PM
A little sappy, but alright, yep - all right.
Re: Truckers should not be poets by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.185	2-Jun-05/7:31 PM
Splitting the years into pieces to please, some time pleasing here, some there, splitting gears, split by peers. Think I'll stay home.
Re: Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	2-Jun-05/5:34 PM
I just saw your vehement reaction to a 'fucking whore', and it's not justified. The poem can be so much better if you would care to consider a reader's interest. There are too many writers who write and post a poem for their own benefit. They don't understand, or do not want to understand that the poem is read by a bunch of Total Strangers who don't give a fuck about the authors wonderful dad. If you want them to care, you'll have to get rid of egocentricism. Sorry Celtic, but that's the way it is.
Re: a comment on Life and Love by windyone	windyone 63.245.189.144	2-Jun-05/4:30 PM
Ok and your test results are Zodiac? :-)
Re: Wanted by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	2-Jun-05/4:25 PM
Yes, If this is a corrective or alternative of 'Swoon', I miss the man behind you. Here he seems to have become no different from the City Hall and that's a pity. I guess stanza 3 is the best part.