some deleted user
on Snow by lil_evil_boi
4 Jun 2005, 4:45 AM
'fuffy white'
'cold and frosty night'
'snowflakes'
'white layer'
'soft flakes'
'freshly fallen snow'
'frozen sky'
Now let me guess...it's about WINTERTIME and SNOW?
Yes, isn't it outragous that good poetry is so rare. Thank god for geniusses like lil_evil and hawaii_luver.
Good last stanza
<< The love that is true, priceless and pure >>
Now this is a nice subject for a poem. Why didn't you?
ooooo you make the bunnies soud like humans good...but i think it needs more creativity
I think this poem is good^^ i lyk the way u gave them personalities
sorry its not a cynical twist
dull?? ok... well theres nothing much bout soldiers...cept fighting wars....rescueing others...so...ya..
y not u write one...lyk u can do ne betta^^
ok...u cant actually smell the sweetness of the snow....and if ur trying to be "imaganitive" then its obvious not working...u shuld read more poems...and poems doesnt have to rhyme ^^
I find this dull. You can do betta.
Dovina
on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
3 Jun 2005, 1:32 PM
Why is she in the men's residencia?
Is she a she? The scarf implies so.
Why is hermano not Hermano?
Is a hacienda a residencia? Not ordinarily.
Why are housewives in a men's residencia?
Why capital Heaven, but not church?
How does she know tomorrow's headlines?
Last line is good.
#1 I didnât say, "he turns them outward" But I did say, âthe man behind you takes your dangling hands, turns your thumbs outward, pulling, leaving no choice but to rest back on his chest.â Are you doing margaritas again?
#2 I appreciate your concern, I really do, but how could it be chests with only one of me? And yes, it does refer back to âits dome a breast of his wife.â
#3 Iâve mentioned Irish ancestry in other poems. Thanks for remembering.
Wha? It's not my poem. Yes America has a sullied past of treating its veterans poorly though I think we've corrected that. What we need to stop doing is sending them away in the first place.
To reply to the individual items.
#1 You didn'g say "he turns them outward" It sounds like his thumbs are outward.
#2 Breasts as in chests, Your being? Or re-referring to the domes' shape?
#3Irish roman? Or am I unnecessarily crossing wires here?
#4 and 5. Ok.
Maybe I'm REALLY thick. still better off for the dialogue though, thanks.
Dovina
replying on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
3 Jun 2005, 10:50 AM
That depends on the angle between the bottom's plane and the horizontal.
Trite.
But I think you do have fancy architecture.
It's sad that being built to love and understand, we're often hating and misunderstanding.