ALChemy
on Bookends by INTRANSIT
4 Jun 2005, 9:00 AM
That was really fun. A completely new format. quite refreshing. The alliterations make everything flow so the reader can just glide along this witty little ride you've constructed.
You mean "evil that lurks (in) this place"?
Unpeacefulness?
I'm all in for inventing words but this is too direct a poem for taking such liberties. I like the no BS approach though.
This is either a brilliant piece of sarcasm or a chocolate covered turd.
By Grapthars' Hammer.....I don't know.
Unforunately, we've already been here. Save your breath for your writing.
Love this. My -Bookends- may interest you.
bleed their wrists seems cliche. the rest is true.
I used "schizophrenic" because people look like there talking to themselves and when one rings like 5 different people try to answer thier phones.
zodiac
replying on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
4 Jun 2005, 7:04 AM
Yes, once. Is that sufficient?
Dovina
replying on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
4 Jun 2005, 7:03 AM
So, could you solve it?
zodiac
replying on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
4 Jun 2005, 7:00 AM
Oh. Crap. Guess I walked into that.
Dovina
replying on Applicative-Order Fixed-Point Operator by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
4 Jun 2005, 6:58 AM
You're not reading the question carefully. There is no such trickery as you imagine. The answer is a volume.
How were the bottles busted on a blanket? Not that it matters, I'm just curious.
zodiac
replying on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
4 Jun 2005, 6:43 AM
Thanks.
I saw the broken bottles and mirror as stars. So I went down the romance path and then the skull stopped my treading.
re: "u cant actually smell the sweetness of the snow" - Yes, of course you can. And snow does smell sweet, like wet mittens. And even if it didn't you could still smell its sweetness.
And how many users are you? I count three.
INTRANSIT
on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
4 Jun 2005, 6:39 AM
last line typo.
INTRANSIT
replying on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
4 Jun 2005, 6:39 AM
Actually it is. I trust those with writing experience to know what needs to be done to bring a poem in line, then let the 'ranker knock the burrs off. No, not shamefully unless this is all ten times condensed. Go for it. Wring out the other nine chapters. Size doesn't matter to me in poetry.
zodiac
replying on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
4 Jun 2005, 6:16 AM
Hope it's better now. I've written about ten times more of this than I've posted. Shamefully.
zodiac
replying on Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac
4 Jun 2005, 6:12 AM
1) The bars were closed. True story.
2) I hope so. No, I know so. I have a hard time thinking of good Spanish names. When I need one, I think of someone I met in Mexico whose name never made it in an Enrique Iglesias song.
3) I dunno. Spanish speakers don't capitalize it.
4) No. The hacienda's where the big boss lives, the residencia's where exchange students and bored Mexico City kids live.
5) In that earlier version, Heaven (Cielita) was a girl who lived at a black magic store. True story. Incidentally, the main work of the staff at the black magic store I knew was carving Jesuses with enormous phalluses. I dropped all that from the poem though. For the better.
6) They're revolutionaries.
7) I hope it's better now.