poemranker ::Truckers should not be poets by INTRANSIT

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Villanelle № 44655

Truckers should not be poets

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 Mar 2003 · Edited 1 Jun 2005 · 15 comments

I can split the gears and I can split the years My life is made to please others Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears. My reason for being here is not quite clear as I short the day just like my brothers. I can split the years and I can split the gears. Vivid dreams of the white tailed deer, Long cold nights under these covers. Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears I don't wish to be in front of the jeers. Poetry can make one feel smothered. I can split the gears and I can split the years. Out of place in this atmosphere I wish I were a linguisseteur Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears It's difficult not to oversteer skill is sometimes undeserved. Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears I can split the years and I can split the gears.

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mean 6.40 weighted 5.17 rank 4988 views 393 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

A favorite of Luzr, nentwined.

15 comments

[n/a] -=SeTTle=- 18-Mar-03/9:41 AM Reply
Great work there INTRANSIT! It's ironic how distant yet how similar the professions of poet and trucker can sometimes be! Come round any time and I'll let you fuck my face!
[7] hipster flare › -=SeTTle=- 18-Mar-03/9:53 AM Reply
grow up.
[n/a] -=SeTTle=- › hipster flare 18-Mar-03/10:21 AM Reply
make me
[9] <~> 20-Mar-03/7:18 AM Reply
fine. you see, when it is harder, it is easier.
you are better for the exercise, and this is quite a lovely little villanelle, goodly sir! bravo!
[9] <~> › <~> 20-Mar-03/7:18 AM Reply
(i won't split hairs on beats, but read it aloud and see what i mean.)
[9] horus8 10-Dec-03/6:56 PM Reply
The blue collar transition my friend. If I get there first know that I will help you get there too.
[6] nentwined 16-May-04/2:33 PM Reply
The rhythm does seem a bit off, but villanelles are like that even when they're spot on, I think. You use some very simple rhymes, perhaps ironically, but that doesn't make them hurt less. I like the two lines you've used to repeat, and I really like that you alternate the leading. Negative points (in my book) for anything that asks for the context of poemranker. But. Dunno. For the form, and for what you're saying, I think you've done a decent job. Bonus for giving me fat to chew. This'll sit in my favorites for a bit regardless.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › nentwined 16-May-04/6:29 PM Reply
I posted it some time ago, and I've been sitting on it until I felt like tuning it a little. The middle lines didn't rhyme before and It makes more sense with the tweaks. It beats better now too. I'll twist 'er nips a little more some other time. Thanks for yours. It asks for the context of p/r? wha?
[6] nentwined › INTRANSIT 16-May-04/7:59 PM Reply
I was probably just reading too much into it, then, as it's self-referential at least regarding the poetry, I thought perhaps the "my reason for being here" was referring to p/r--especially made sense with the jeers and whatnot.
[7] Caducus 17-May-04/10:59 AM Reply
a welcome epilogue of mr intransit, cool - likey !
[7] deleted user 1-Jun-05/7:57 PM Reply
What's a villanelle?
[n/a] INTRANSIT › deleted user 2-Jun-05/6:15 AM Reply
I have no Idea. Yet.
[7] deleted user › INTRANSIT 2-Jun-05/6:34 AM Reply
I mean, I see the form and the rhyme scheme, but is the breach in the last two stanza's typical villanelle? (my directory doesn't feature the term)
[n/a] INTRANSIT › deleted user 2-Jun-05/6:44 AM Reply
Um, the breach in the 5th is not. The sixth, yes. The best I can do is refer you to the "gold standard" of: Do not go gentle into that good night, By Dylan Thomas. Probably easy to find on the 'net. My newer one was far better. V's are one of those poems that look easy but aren't. I did a couple of hack Ghazals once. I'm bad at forms.
[7] Dovina 2-Jun-05/7:31 PM Reply
Splitting the years into pieces to please, some time pleasing here, some there, splitting gears, split by peers. Think I'll stay home.