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Truckers should not be poets (Villanelle) by INTRANSIT

I can split the gears and I can split the years My life is made to please others Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears. My reason for being here is not quite clear as I short the day just like my brothers. I can split the years and I can split the gears. Vivid dreams of the white tailed deer, Long cold nights under these covers. Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears I don't wish to be in front of the jeers. Poetry can make one feel smothered. I can split the gears and I can split the years. Out of place in this atmosphere I wish I were a linguisseteur Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears It's difficult not to oversteer skill is sometimes undeserved. Trying to be a poet will drive me to tears I can split the years and I can split the gears.

nentwined 16-May-04/2:33 PM
The rhythm does seem a bit off, but villanelles are like that even when they're spot on, I think. You use some very simple rhymes, perhaps ironically, but that doesn't make them hurt less. I like the two lines you've used to repeat, and I really like that you alternate the leading. Negative points (in my book) for anything that asks for the context of poemranker. But. Dunno. For the form, and for what you're saying, I think you've done a decent job. Bonus for giving me fat to chew. This'll sit in my favorites for a bit regardless.




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