Re: The Last Suburb by some deleted user	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/4:06 PM
Too prosy. Maybe it's that there's not great feeling of rhythm. Something could be done with it, though.
Re: From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/4:04 PM
Nice, nice. Why the question mark at 'cross he carved'? The second last stanza doesn't seem to fit that well, though.
Re: The Box by Eydn	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/4:02 PM
Needs a rewrite. Here's a hint: if you're gasping for air, and in the next moment screaming, you're not serene.
Re: Climate Control by MacFrantic	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/4:01 PM
Isn't it 'Bunyan'?
Re: Rescue My Heart by pletcgm	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/3:59 PM
8074E000
Re: Rescue My Heart by pletcgm	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/3:58 PM
'Amassed with many feelings'?
Re: untitled rhyme royal 2 by starkfister	Tintagiles 198.164.251.165	23-Sep-05/3:58 PM
Ow. That's terrible. If you're going to use old-fashioned language, do it well. Aside from that, an excellent first-person narrative of a dwarf performing cunnilingus on a grown woman. 8070F000
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.147.145	23-Sep-05/3:24 PM
OBSTINATE, headstrong girl I'm ashamed of you. Firstly, the collection of living things is not an Array, it's a Tree. Secondly, "the array of living things" doesn't even come close to being a context in which a Gentleman may meaningfully employ the word 'purpose' without further qualification. When we use the word 'purpose' we always do it with some wider context in mind. "The purpose of X is to do such-and-such so I can achieve Y." "The purpose of my hammer is to bang in this nail so my house doesn't fall down." The hammer's purpose is described by reference to a wider context, and it's purpose is entirely dependent on that context. It's nonsense to talk about its purpose in the context of itself. Hammers mean different things to different people, and in different contexts. I use hammers beat my servants. God knows what you use them for. And yet people always talk about their 'purpose' without reference to a wider context. "The purpose of living things is to reproduce." Ok but in what context? "In the context of living things on the earth." Yeah great but that's not a wider context (and therefore is not a context at all, since all contexts must be wider contexts). And it goes on: "What's our purpose?" Well, purpose to whom? To God, our purpose is to worship Jesu, thereby obtaining a free ticket into Heaven. "Yes but what's our purpose to US?" I don't know about you, but if praising Jesu is a good enough purpose for God, then it's good enough for me. The fact that it isn't good enough for you is why I'm so ashamed of you, and why my banning you was not an act of banality, but an act of mercy.
Re: a comment on The Last Suburb by some deleted user	some deleted user 64.171.157.245	23-Sep-05/2:37 PM
I have read some of your poetry and respect your views. If you have any specific suggestions on how I might "economize" this work, I'd be happy to hear them. (It was meant to be a tribute to my late mother; perhaps I am too close to the subject to approach it as an exclusively artistic endeavor.)
Re: From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus	Dovina 24.213.236.224	23-Sep-05/2:10 PM
Very good until the last two verses. Then you seem to shift into another gear. It's like two poems.
Re: The Last Suburb by some deleted user	Dovina 24.213.236.224	23-Sep-05/2:07 PM
More like a letter than a poem. Try using half as many words.
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	Dovina 24.213.236.224	23-Sep-05/1:52 PM
The context, obviously, is the array of living things on the earth. Evolution does state things, again obviously. And it states that the those species which are able to reproduce survive. Your banning is banal in the extreme.
Re: From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus	some deleted user 64.171.157.245	23-Sep-05/11:45 AM
All I can say is -- OUTSTANDING. Very powerful,k moving examination of the ambiguities, contradictions, and agonies in life. You have a wonderful gift; I hope you will continue to write.
Re: Guilt Trip by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Eydn 69.92.168.235	23-Sep-05/10:01 AM
I really like these lyrics......can actually hear this one with music. That is usually the true test of good lyrics and you have written some great ones.
Re: Please Stay by pletcgm	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.147.145	22-Sep-05/4:37 PM
I probed your poeme with one of these: http://www.collectorman.com/images/S608.jpg , and it told me you were missing something in your life. Something, or someone... someone close to you. -10-
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.147.145	22-Sep-05/4:16 PM
Evolution doesn't STATE anything. Most of the aminals you see around you have a strong urge to reproduce, because the stupid animals who didn't have that urge did not sustain themselves. For obvious reasons. The idea of PURPOSE only makes sense within some CONTEXT. For instance, in a game of cricket, the PURPOSE of a batsman's box is to PROTECT HIS BOLLOCKS. There you have a CONTEXT, namely, that cricket is played with a hard ball, and batsmen want to shield their unmentionables from violent knocks. For you to mention PURPOSE without CONTEXT is paltry in the extreme, and leaves me no choice but to ban you from further discussion on the matter.
Re: my friend beth we wear by jessicazee	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:21 PM
In a flow of thought ramble like this, I still think punctuation is good. Or at least put each thought on a separate line.
Re: a comment on Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:18 PM
That it is. The hill country of middle Tennessee can grab hold on you after a few months there.
Re: a comment on Rejuvenation by Dovina	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:16 PM
For a species to continue, it must reproduce. Evolutioin states that that is its purpose - to continue. I agree that we humans can have other purposes, but these are of our choosing and are not needed for species survival. So such a view is as odds with evolution. I find a lot of truth in evolution, but can't believe it's the only force in human continuance.
Re: a comment on Seekers by Dovina	Dovina 24.59.205.78	22-Sep-05/2:03 PM
The Erie Canal, built in 1817-1825 was designed much like a beaver would. Without professional engineers, people with practical sense and determination built 400 miles of canal, with locks and aquaducts, an amazing feat even for today's technology. I wonder if the tree in my poem looks at today's structures and asks how they are better.