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Elmer's Last Try (Free verse) by Dovina "I want you to love me," he whispered.
She looked at him, and it seemed
he was the child they never had.
"And I did love you," she said,
straightning his covers.
Then she went out the door,
closing it softly behind her.
And that was the end
of the conversation.
Up the ladder:
Intersection
Down the ladder:
Her Mitts
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.25
Posted: September 21, 2005 1:27 PM PDT; Last modified: September 21, 2005 1:27 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.1490035 Overall Rank: 5334 Comments:
Sad. Interesting swap there. Unlike me and my heavily cliched (and sedated) poems. I think I should like to try an inversion someday. How much does the safety equipment cost? Man, the rankers dead lately!
Trucking accross country like us I guess. No time for satire. I,ll be doin' Philadelphia to LA soon.
A bedwetting can test even the most devoted parent's love.
Not as much as a proud child's derision. But it's not about parent-child, but rather husband-wife.
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Sorry I tried so hard to resist it but failed.
No matter. Same answer.
What should I vote on?
Brevity-8
Grammar-9
Vividness-6
Compared to your other poetry-4
Soap opera-ness-10