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The Box (Free verse) by Eydn
Silent and still, I hear the wind. It drifts upon my face And smells how rotten fruit taste. Water drips into mouth. I lick my lips. Only to taste the clay of the earth And the wood of this box. Air is sacred here. I gasp for it, As I lay separated and serene. I scream, but no one hears me. Above me a shiny silver speculum Display bloodshot globes glistening. This can't be me; I still live. Please someone hear me cry, I just let another breath of air slip by.

Up the ladder: the band
Down the ladder: How the smallest things

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.0
Weighted score: 4.8577223
Overall Rank: 10387
Posted: September 23, 2005 12:46 AM PDT; Last modified: September 23, 2005 12:46 AM PDT
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Comments:
[4] Tintagiles @ 198.164.251.165 | 23-Sep-05/4:02 PM | Reply
Needs a rewrite. Here's a hint: if you're gasping for air, and in the next moment screaming, you're not serene.
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