ALChemy
on Taste Ghazni by eliastemplar
21 Nov 2005, 6:13 AM
Who would have guessed such colorful rugs and shawls could have come from such a dull looking place.
This to me is similar to the opening scene of Saw 2:
Guy has option to save his own life by cutting out a key that has been surgically emplanted behind his eye, he must do this with a scalpel before the timer ends. Guy cant do it. Guy dies.
I think with enougth peer pressure I could just about be able to do it, as long as I could communicate and have some kind of interaction with the world; I would also need to believe that I would be judged on this action as well, otherwise I would buckle to my own selfish desires and would fail. I believe it to be the right and just way, and that animals may be able to have the same worth as humans, and I'd definately do it for humans, as long as they kept me entertained.
Its interesting that this follows on well from the last comments.
How do you answer by the way?
impert&ent
replying on Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent
21 Nov 2005, 3:54 AM
How true. But it wasn't in the list of thirteen that showed up in my RSS reader. Maybe I should make up for it by having a collage poem of zeroes.
I cant find your comment about peoples like for their own poetry.... but it was quite true. My comment about the Wow! business on allpoetry.com was meant to depict that the feedback was generally useless, rather than everyone really likes it (in case that was the picture you got)
I'm actually afraid to talk about something real here. We barely find enough time to talk about nothing.
If I were going to talk about something here, I think it'd be this, from The Book of Questions, Volume 1:
Would you agree to be totally paralysed from the neck down for a year if it would save the endangered blue whale from extinction, given that its extinction is absolutely certain otherwise? Assume that your recovery would be complete and instantaneous.
<Footnote:- Don't worry about who likes it or doesn't, post it. You need to get feedback (good or bad) on any of your work that you think has potential. Personally I'm really interested to see where you're going to take this.
This may be assuming too much and it's certainly none of my business but have you kicked the habit? I'm guessing yes. There's just as good a chance this is completely fictional and based on nothing in your life but heroin's a fucked up drug don't you think?
Looking forward to it.
I think it might be more provokative, and better flowing to change "autumn's oncoming" to "autumn's coming".
Try "The smell rises out of each petal." The repetition of "each" is an obstacle for the reader.
You reminded me that a daisy chain isn't just a type of explosive device.
Remember that haiku idealy appeal to multiple senses. Smell, touch, taste, sight, sound.
Maybe the ficticious Herbert Cyan is more real than Marvyn Hyde. The parallel poem is not up so I can't say, only that what I used to see as the ficticious Dovina is becoming more real every day. She'll pop into life some day and stab a knife into _____.
lovely.
Dovina
replying on Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent
20 Nov 2005, 4:32 PM
You didn't use mine. I should give a zero.
I absoutely love the way you write.
All of the pieces that I have on this site were written in the last month or so, with the exception of Nail Biter and Haven that were written closer to the beginning of the year. I develop my styles as I go, and have been going for about 10 years and pretty much develop a different style each season. This style suits me well for public use, it is strong in imagery and lets the reader experience your journey without knowing where they have gone, and so is easier for me use on open mike.... I have a lot of different styles that I have utilised, and quite often left behind me. It will Wednesday before I can put anything else up; but I'll put up a couple from this series of pieces that describe an imaginary 'fiend' called Dr Herbert Cyan, its a bit darker and a lot more twisted than the usual; but it tells the story well.
She only got two minutes out of you?! How familiar that must be for her.
lol you're right. that's what i get for writing it in 2 minutes with no edit
impert&ent
on Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent
20 Nov 2005, 9:17 AM
A collage of snippets from the first lines of the last 13 poems to appear on Poemranker's RSS feed. Neither random nor contrived, this pick of the litter/litter-picker's approach to composition reflects the momentary ambience of poemranker.