Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:34 AM
Nicely nostalgic
Re: run'em'hard by grendal	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:32 AM
Stanza 4 = necromancy? Not sure I get this one but I'm a bit slow, so don't worry. Say hi to horus wherever he is.
Re: Going Away to Fight a War by wilco	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:28 AM
I was going to ask if you'd ever been to the solstice at Stonehenge, but as your profile says you're from the States I think probably not. Anyway, I see you have a vote average of over 6, that is a fucking awesome feat for this site with the amount of poems you've posted so I thought I'd say congrats. As for the poem, not bad at all; 'retired kite strings' is wonderful!
Re: Monkey Tree (Breathless edit) by ecargo	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:23 AM
A good edit, in my opinion you might want to put a few more rhymes in there to make it quicker to read - it feels like it should be a fast poem to reflect the speed of clambering up and tumbling down.
Re: The Acorn Daisies by MacFrantic	Ranger 62.252.32.15	9-Feb-06/6:21 AM
The rhyme in the middle is good but it makes that section sweep by much faster than the rest; if I were you I'd keep a constant speed with this piece as it isn't particularly long. Other than that, very good!
Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/6:02 AM
Not quite sure about the capital F in the first "Fire". If "More than you can shake a stick at" was something he said alot (which is just my hunch) then put it in quotations please. I thought it was a great sentiment and quite deep. Well expressed D.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/5:53 AM
No, I'm thinking his humor is more pot induced sarcasm and so is best a-la bong.
Re: a comment on Lonely Road by drnick	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	9-Feb-06/5:48 AM
-Then you should bestow your intelligent advice upon us a little more.
Re: a comment on Insanity by Lifeboatman	Lifeboatman 170.65.128.6	8-Feb-06/11:49 PM
not here to save the world, babe, with my words... jsut trying to pass by..
Re: Lonely Road by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	8-Feb-06/9:01 PM
boy, i sure do wish someone would bestow their intelligent advice upon me as to how i could improve this poem...
Re: My Father’s World by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	8-Feb-06/7:55 PM
Am I the first for this? It very good. You have some good stuff in you.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 67.72.98.99	8-Feb-06/7:53 PM
Yes, and -=Dark_Angel,P.I.=- is hilarious with Southern Comfort.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	8-Feb-06/7:00 PM
Thanks, I discovered once while in art school that "The Shining" is the funniest movie ever if you're sloshed when you watch it.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	8-Feb-06/6:57 PM
I happen to know where the new trend of poetry should go.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	Dovina 67.72.98.81	8-Feb-06/2:08 PM
You are being instructed in the various styles of poetry as classified by FORM. I read a very short poem once and liked it because I felt a kinship with a man known for his heavy drinking and rude lifestyle. I was impressed that two humans, very different, could come together on this poem of his. ART by Charles Bukowski “As the spirit wanes, the form appears.” I remembered my own spirit waning after work, as I relaxed with a glass of wine and witnessed the appearance of “forms” that eventually found expression on paper. It seemed that Bukowski, too, had caught the notion that the cares of life and business inhibit creativity, the very notion I was feeling, but had never written as succinctly as his brief poem. A year or so later I listened to a recording of Bukowski. He said that he wrote the poem to express angst at a trend among the poets in his circle. As the spirit of a poet wanes and becomes like a dead thing, a poet turns to forms such as sonnets, villanelles and the like to cover his loss and to give the impression of having something to say. He wrote the poem as a slur on poets become erudite. What Bukowski meant and what I interpreted were entirely different. One thing you and Bukowski have is aversion to FORM, and perhaps it should stay that way.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 67.72.98.81	8-Feb-06/1:39 PM
Don't under-praise yourself. Even Bertrand Russel sounds like the Bible if read with just the right amount of wine.
Re: a comment on Send The Devil... by horus8	horus8 24.130.62.63	8-Feb-06/8:56 AM
Hospital for what? Ice? As in drugs? As for Hedwig, yes, she's a horrible person and needs a good doctor and some serious counseling. She systematically destroys every good things she comes into contact with. She needs medication, a doctor, and probably a lifetime of therapy. Fortunately, I've lived my life never needing a mother, or really knowing her or her family so it's no skin off my back, and I'm a lot better off for it. She covers all truth in treacherous lie, like a thick fog that no-one can wake up from, but that third rate witchcraft has never worked on me. Sad thing is. It's not her fault it's her fathers, and his stepfathers fault the priest. Incest, and sexual abuse exists on many levels kiddo, and regardless, no child should have to go through it. Or the kind of head trips and double talk that comes along with it. I'm just happy to still be sane, and healthy. With people like Hedwig out there, the world is a dangerous place. You are a good boy. You never did anything wrong. Kids aren't raised the way you and I were raised brandon. they are loved in a stable home, and given the truth and a steady supply of love, education, and opportunities. Not turned into abused slaves through lie, sexual manipulations, and FEAR. The reason Mother in I do not get along is because she has a dark force inside of her, and if she's around me I will not tolerate it. Think back to the night she lied about my father not being my father... I have no tolerance for cheap liars, charletans, and pointless black magic. I love my family, and she has no place in it. I love this earth, and she did not bring me here, and she has absolutely nothing to do with how I live my life. She's just an abused child running around in old lady skin, controled by a dark spirit that grandfather gave her, she tried to give it to me, but it never took. I know the difference between what's right and wrong. That's why life has shined bright upon me granting me the wishes and the light I wanted to be. She can never have that, but you are always welcome with me. You are my brother, and a part of me. I will always champion you. Love, the oldest of many.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	8-Feb-06/5:47 AM
He hasn't voted on mine lately. It's his rule.
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	richa 81.178.221.104	8-Feb-06/3:14 AM
Very good. Anvil eyed needs a hyphen or the anvil is doing the eying. Davy lamp doesn't need quotation marks, and is a much more relevant and precise image than hero's sword. The details give it pathos and I think it benefits from not being overloaded with adjectives.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	7-Feb-06/8:31 PM
Alchemy, I don't see your vote here. How do I know what your grading for this poem is?