Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	7-Feb-06/8:23 PM
Yeah guys! (grins). I'm all ears...or in this case, all eyes. It's been years since I actually paid and attention to good poetry, and at times I find it difficult to follow good poetical styles. It seems so simple when I read it, but getting my own in writing is another question. When I see something different from the normal pattern, I am always tempted to question and delve deeper. Excuse the doubts and lack of trust in what you've written, zodiac.... You'll see, given time, I'll be able to appreciate something unique about your poem, different from what one might usually see. I hope your not disappointed.
Re: Send The Devil... by horus8	baphomet 204.126.64.254	7-Feb-06/7:03 PM
i read the long poem of how mom trys to ruin u on poem ranker, what is that. Is it true? i hope not that would be mal. i lo v loved you cause you were my teacher and i the squire. this sucks i hope your a liar. i came out the hospital, a couple months ago in hawaii now im in california again. i od on ice, now i just live life in a criogenic dream im sorry but please tell me the truth of the matter when me and mom lived there. i missed you, i want to miss you again.
Re: a comment on Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	Dovina 67.72.98.99	7-Feb-06/6:05 PM
Agreed. I still think this is great.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/2:23 PM
Are you still listening Amanda?
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/2:15 PM
It's just about the spirit of your parents staying with you like guardian angels.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.14.150	7-Feb-06/2:11 PM
Zeus, in the form of a swan, raped the half-mortal girl Leda. The child he fathered with her was Helen of Troy. I don't think the standard form is necessarily boring. I definitely don't think it has trouble with modern themes, as long as the rhymes you pick are good and specific to your piece. But I don't want people counting my rhymes instead of being pleasantly surprised by them. Here's a sonnet I used to have here that's more traditional: When we are wed I'll never wake you up when we are wed and I'm just home from closing down the store, the house and bedroom day-warm, dark, and still, your shoes and pants and papers on the floor, an empty bottle, a pack of Marlboro reds haphazard on the sofa-arm and sill - some things I'd tell you, things much better said; but no, I'll never wake you when we're wed. The faith that holds me to you holds me more the less it’s stirred. So sleep, sleep well, until the morning, sleep. I’ll come to bed before you wake and wake you up - though not to tread too loudly now going by the bedroom door, I'll find, is some ungodly act of will.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.14.150	7-Feb-06/2:01 PM
Ooh, half-right. argyle, bull's eye, clavicle, curl, hobnail, klar (the German word meaning "clear"), obsequious, pat, recount, sea glass, tantrum, whirl The trick to these is using weirder words than the prompt, so the prompt words don't show up. I cut-and-paste news articles for inspiration a lot.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/1:49 PM
Well, having satisfied my immediate concerns, let's see, what is you poem about? I feel almost Catholic reading it, but confused by "perigenetic" which led me to Imago. Had to look up perigenesis: "A theory which explains inheritance by the transmission of the type of growth force possessed by one generation to another." Still scratching my head on that. The first verse sounds like Jesus talking to God the Father. But the second doesn't follow the way he spoke to his mother. Still, I like and relate to the second verse better.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ecargo 167.219.88.140	7-Feb-06/1:40 PM
That's part of it, sure, but Yeats used myth as a metaphor for larger themes. And even the myth on which he based it had wider implications--literally sowing the seeds of disaster. He used a form that was traditionally used for love poetry, which was a shocking--and deliberate--departure that highlighted the violence of it. It's a modern poem, even now I think, far more than it is a traditional sonnet, whatever its structure.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/1:27 PM
Tell her to sign on. Maybe she'll put us all in our place or at least a chosen few.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/1:22 PM
My sister was saying just today: I once had a good friend in black Who felt a strange twinge in his back With blood on my knife He fled for his life And we never quite got in the sack
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/1:06 PM
Leda is a rape fantasy as is this painting by Fuseli. http://www.litgothic.com/Images/fuseli_nightmare.jpg A theme still relevent today but unnoticed by modern culture do to it's old structure. I would like to think my theme is more universal, as modern as it is old.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/12:43 PM
That's because you're writing Dovina poetry. It's what you expect Dovina to write. I bet Dovina has a sister that can write some bad-ass rhymes.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ecargo 167.219.88.140	7-Feb-06/12:39 PM
To completely oversimplify (understate?) it: sex and death. Are there "modern themes"? At their core, are they modern? (I'm not being facetious or particularly rhetorical in asking.) Even your Perigenetic Prayer--the language (i.e., your use of a scientific term) is modern--but is it a modern theme?
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/12:30 PM
I read a couple of them. His voice seems so different, and I've never gotten the hang of that bad ass rhyme he said I have in me.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/12:27 PM
Har-har:) Let me know if you spot any old ones you like. I'll tell him to post them.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/12:21 PM
Was he a Withering Rose?
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/12:17 PM
Imago died young of self-embarrassment and he willed his stuff to me.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/12:14 PM
Do you know what Yeats is talking about in the sonnet? Don't get me wrong. I'm an old school poetry guy myself. I was basically asking Zodiac if he didn't use the old standard form because he thought it was boring. It does have it's troubles working into modern themes.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/12:11 PM
No, really, I just ran accross it. You can delete these comments if you have some riddle, and it's coming out too soon. I really don't know Imago.