Re: Faith on a cross by Caducus	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/12:09 PM
I like the Judas tree reference. The name derives from the tradition that Judas Iscariot hanged himself from this tree, and when it's in bloom, it blushes with shame every year.
Re: a comment on The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/12:06 PM
Good research. What name do you use over there? Ps. Don't snitch.
Re: The Perigenetic Prayer by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.104	7-Feb-06/11:52 AM
Imago and Poe must be a couple of your favorites.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ecargo 167.219.88.140	7-Feb-06/11:41 AM
Are they? Leda And The Swan - WB Yeats A sudden blow: the great wings beating still Above the staggering girl, her thighs caressed By the dark webs, her nape caught in his bill, He holds her helpless breast upon his breast. How can those terrified vague fingers push The feathered glory from her loosening thighs? And how can body, laid in that white rush, But feel the strange heart beating where it lies? A shudder in the loins engenders there The broken wall, the burning roof and tower And Agamemnon dead. Being so caught up, So mastered by the brute blood of the air, Did she put on his knowledge with his power Before the indifferent beak could let her drop? He plays with the form--the broken line, the rhyme scheme, so it's a departure from standard form, sure--but so what? Roethke's _In a Dark Time_ is another sonnet that you almost realize is a sonnet after the fact, because you're so caught up in the language and lyricism. Good stuff.
Re: Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/11:33 AM
bazaar, urchin, clavicle, deadwood, bull's-eye, hobnailed, obsequious, argyle, newsprint, sunstruck, klar(I have no idea what that means), and buoy. Didn't Ginsberg used to do things like that, like cutting out newspaper articles for inspiration?
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.14.150	7-Feb-06/11:22 AM
It's one of <~>'s 'How many of these words can you fit in a poem' exercises. I'll give you a Buffalo Head nickel if you can figure out all 12.
Re: Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/10:58 AM
Reminds me of Ginsberg's supermarket minus the poet comparisons.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/10:47 AM
Umm, because "good" sonnets are boring?
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.14.150	7-Feb-06/10:15 AM
That one has fifteen lines. And the rhyme-scheme isn't Petrarchan. Oh, WHY can't I write a good sonnet just ONCE?!!?!?!
Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus	Caducus 172.189.69.172	7-Feb-06/8:24 AM
Changed line 3 to davy lamp as it makes a wheezing sound when lit and is used for mining. I think its better than heroes sword.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	7-Feb-06/7:59 AM
If he was incapable of writing a decent more formal version of a sonnet I could see where you'd have a complaint but he can do formal too. http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=97969
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	zodiac 209.193.14.150	7-Feb-06/7:42 AM
Suit yourself.
Re: a comment on time (3rd draft) by Adriaan	Ranger 62.252.32.15	7-Feb-06/3:14 AM
Keep it as it is; there is no such thing as a universally pronouncable haiku. As I said, I really like the idea behind it, and this draft is much more haiku-esque.
Re: Tonight (edit) by drnick	Ranger 62.252.32.15	7-Feb-06/3:05 AM
Very good, not original but done much better than most. The only suggestion I have is to change 'started' (line 8) to 'begun'...it's easier to read, other than that - excellent!
Re: Blackbirds III by jmalone	Ranger 62.252.32.15	7-Feb-06/2:57 AM
Lines 13, 14, 15, 16 aren't as good as the rest of it - they're very ordinary whereas the rest is nicely eloquent. I loved the first 4 lines. Excellent rhythm and the rhyme holds up pretty well.
Re: a comment on Sonnet by zodiac	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	7-Feb-06/1:40 AM
Your sonnet is good from matter point of view, but I am still not convinced about the structure. I've been reading a couple of sonnets and this is a bit different (again, I might be wrong). I'll give you an 8, and if I am more satisfied I'll vote better, if allowed. Sorry for the doubts. Sonnets are a new subject for me to catch up on.
Re: a comment on An Understanding Woman by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	7-Feb-06/1:31 AM
Dovina, I am at a loss as to why there are two votes on my IP add. It could be because I'm using a proxy server. Other than that what could it be, cause I voted an 8 and am clueless about the 4. If you do know why, fill me in. It's not from my side anyway.
Re: Anonymous Love by Angelicasassy	drnick 24.176.22.254	7-Feb-06/12:14 AM
Story of my fucking life.
Re: a comment on time (3rd draft) by Adriaan	Adriaan 198.54.202.18	7-Feb-06/12:03 AM
or perhaps a senryu?
Re: a comment on time (3rd draft) by Adriaan	Adriaan 198.54.202.18	7-Feb-06/12:03 AM
I do pronounce it as 'ripp/ling' - the wonders of a South African accent :) I originally used 'ripple' in this version, but I felt that it was a bit stilted. What's you opinion?