Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	zodiac 66.230.117.83	19-Feb-06/1:39 PM
Thanks for clearing that up. I got that they dress the egg in lily-whites and stand it on its squashed black end in various places.
Re: a comment on To drnick by amanda_dcosta	zodiac 66.230.117.83	19-Feb-06/1:33 PM
So prayer is only relevant to personal salvation, then. It's pretty conceivable that God would say "Well, I wasn't going to save so-and-so, but since he prays so much, I guess I will." Of course, you CAN simply pray "God send me to heaven instead of hell". But if you could likely get bonus points for wishing good on other people while praying, why the hell wouldn't you?
Re: a comment on To drnick by amanda_dcosta	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	19-Feb-06/11:19 AM
When you pray for somebody, what do you think happens? Do you think God says "Well I wasn't actually going to help such-and-such, but now that you've prayed for him I will."? At Church people are always praying for the poor, or praying for the sick, or praying for the people who've been pulped by an earthquake. What the hell do they think they're doing? I mean, is the power of a prayer directly proportional to the number of people who pray that prayer? And if we didn't pray, would God just watch T.V. instead? Think about it. For once in your life, think about it.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	19-Feb-06/10:58 AM
'All they have is a squashed black egg which they stand around in lily-whites and tell each other how genteel they are.' That sentence is unparsable. Try using some punctuation. Here's what I think you meant to say, but it's just a guess because the original was so garbled-beyond-belief. 'All they have is a squashed black egg. They stand around it, in a lily-white circle, telling each other how genteel they are.'
Re: Without my Glasses by Niphredil	Ranger 62.252.32.15	19-Feb-06/2:25 AM
Very readable indeed, although I couldn't tell from experience if this is at all accurate; I shall take your word for it.
Re: Nightfall by Niphredil	Ranger 62.252.32.15	19-Feb-06/2:17 AM
This is a fantastic villanelle, very well-written and extremely vivid. The only thing I would change is removing one of the 'ands' in line 7, maybe changing it to something like 'Now that it has grown late and I am free...' (a bit clumsy-sounding actually, but you get the picture). 'Weather-worn caresses'? Beautiful.
Re: a comment on You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	Ranger 62.252.32.15	19-Feb-06/2:07 AM
Actually the story was for one person in particular, but I thought I'd share it with you. If it makes it easier to read, I'll buy you a fine single malt all to yourself and give you the evening off :p Just as an aside, there are a couple of overtones thrown in here (the spider metaphor, the tree etc.) Did they come through at all? You've all suffered the Pimple years of Ranger, now is the time when I begin stage 2 of the poet's training, in the proper and effective use of metaphor. Cheers for commenting!
Re: Gunsong by MacFrantic	Dovina 69.175.32.104	18-Feb-06/6:02 PM
I take it as a video game from Verse 3. "Doom" maybe. So much of it is lyrical, but without coherence, that I think it's a dream, or game, or drug trip.
Re: Stealth Assassin (draft) by Mona Lisa	Dovina 69.175.32.104	18-Feb-06/5:54 PM
Terrible, in a dreadful way. I hate these codependence-poems of mixed love and abuse. For that reason, a 0. But because it's well-written a 7.
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	Dovina 69.175.32.104	18-Feb-06/5:50 PM
The spider gets a show and a point of view, sharing with us some nice lines. But most of the story is for tired children or drunk adults.
Re: FAT BALLET- PAS DE DEUX by andrew barnes	Ranger 62.252.32.15	18-Feb-06/1:35 PM
Amusing, quite witty and good fun. I'd rather see an alternative to the 'cleverly/severally' rhyme, but that's my only real gripe.
Re: After a Show at the Lyceum by andrew barnes	Ranger 62.252.32.15	18-Feb-06/1:34 PM
Yes, I like this. I'm not sure about 'father-like', it doesn't quite seem to work, other than that, nice!
Re: Gunsong by MacFrantic	Ranger 62.252.32.15	18-Feb-06/1:25 PM
This is excellently structured and the content is also of high quality. Stanza III line 7 doesn't quite make sense to me - the Earth appears to be calling the demons 'graves', I must be missing something there. Other than that, I like the imagery. Last three lines are superb.
Re: You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	Niphredil 192.117.117.50	18-Feb-06/9:38 AM
I thought the double meanings of "Beams like the door Pining for forests long gone" were terrific. Great imagery; I love the way each successive word adds a little more texture to the poem. -9-
Re: Angst by Mikius	Ranger 62.252.32.15	17-Feb-06/3:21 PM
I sincerely hope this was meant to amuse, because I had to chuckle at it. Knowing you, I think it was!
Re: She Doesn't Love Me. by edgar-allen-poe-rox	Fayt 141.157.35.222	17-Feb-06/8:39 AM
i absolutely love it. =D
Re: The cat who would fly by nentwined	drnick 24.176.22.254	17-Feb-06/8:31 AM
like the 3rd and last line the best, nice.
Re: a comment on The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	drnick 24.176.22.254	17-Feb-06/8:14 AM
"thibk of the integrity" indeed i am a fool
Re: Legless Insecurity by PoeticXTC	wEdible Underpantsw 195.157.153.249	17-Feb-06/8:07 AM
Kaolin Fire - what a totally gay name
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	17-Feb-06/8:05 AM
Metaphorically and physically, I have a tennisball, a racketball, and a golfball. All they have is a squashed black egg which they stand around in lily-whites and tell each other how genteel they are.