Re: Relativity by Bobjim	Blue Magpie 212.205.251.35	26-Feb-06/12:02 AM
OK
Re: a comment on Goodbye by aamir_trichy	aamir_trichy 203.129.195.149	25-Feb-06/11:24 PM
are u related to chemical engg/chemistry? i am..
Re: My Shattered Love by Silverjackel	Alizarin_Crimson 71.131.178.191	25-Feb-06/11:07 PM
The proper spelling would be "Voraciously"
Re: a comment on why? by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	25-Feb-06/10:24 PM
Ouch.
Re: a comment on why? by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	25-Feb-06/10:24 PM
only what you make, perhaps.
Re: a comment on why? by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	25-Feb-06/10:24 PM
There's something in that.
Re: a comment on why? by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	25-Feb-06/10:23 PM
Agreed. :)
Re: a comment on Goodbye by aamir_trichy	aamir_trichy 203.129.195.149	25-Feb-06/7:35 PM
thankyou...for going through and picking out mistakes..the next piece will be better....
Re: a comment on Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 86.135.203.170	25-Feb-06/4:55 PM
Rudyard Q. Prawne
Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	25-Feb-06/3:51 PM
Ya know, I ask myself that question every day.
Re: a comment on You by terbenaw	Ranger 62.252.32.15	25-Feb-06/2:33 PM
Incandescent is better; somehow gives me an image of a candle being held to the moon - if it were my poem I'd try and bring that picture out in the first stanza, but it may not work for you. I'm still not a huge fan of the third line - it feels too long (at least the way I read it). Again, if it were my poem I'd change it to something like 'Its incandescent illumination/A gentle wash/As I think of you'. That way it would slightly tone down the first-person aspect of stanza 1, which I find a bit strong, and detract neither from the description in line 2, nor from line 4. Anyway, keep this one coming, it's looking good!
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	terbenaw 71.138.184.201	25-Feb-06/1:53 PM
I happen to enjoy this poem as is. Great flowing rhythm, excellent imagery. I do, however, agree with the others who have stated that replacing Lorelei with someone readers can relate to either Mary or the location of the poem. Excellent work though.
Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Dovina 69.175.32.104	25-Feb-06/1:51 PM
What was his name? You must have loved him very much.
Re: Harp Song of the Prawne Men by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Ranger 62.252.32.15	25-Feb-06/1:36 PM
Far and away your finest offering for a long while! I myself pray that I never have to choose between life and prawne. And I pray to Jesu that the same applies to you.
Re: You by terbenaw	terbenaw 71.138.184.201	25-Feb-06/1:29 PM
Any opinions on the change from Its phosphorescent brightness Illuminating my being to Its incandescent illumination Invigorating my being?
Re: a comment on You by terbenaw	terbenaw 71.138.184.201	25-Feb-06/1:24 PM
Thanks for the heads up... I wonder if 'incandescent' would make a better choice there than phosphorescent...
Re: a comment on Rambling by terbenaw	terbenaw 71.138.184.201	25-Feb-06/1:14 PM
Just gonna re-work the whole thing and repost it in a while. For now, I'll just leave as is.
Re: a comment on Rambling by terbenaw	terbenaw 71.138.184.201	25-Feb-06/1:12 PM
That's true... thanks for that.
Re: a comment on On Looking Back by Dovina	zodiac 216.67.6.17	25-Feb-06/12:14 PM
I once met a gay crippled ponce. He lives in my house for the nonce. He mutters and scowls As he shakes his white jowls But I've still not found out what he wants.
Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie	zodiac 216.67.6.17	25-Feb-06/12:02 PM
Whatever your poetic inspiration was, it's never a good idea to write a poem with 7 lines in a row using the same rhyme. You can be as clever as you want, and odds are it's still going to sound bad. And I agree with ecargo, your points are a little overstated. It's nice that you made many of them part of a dialogue, but, to me, it doesn't work. Some tightening, shortening, and ambiguity seem in order. Also, (a minor thing,) the anthology-style line-numbering bothers me.