Re: a comment on Seizures by Sunny	Sunny 66.69.36.171	20-May-06/7:21 AM
Sorry for the confusion about the different COLORED tulips, I was talking about the white one's...The jist of this poem is simply a view of how I see the world after a certain diagnosis (check title), & how it has effected me mentally. ~Sunny
Re: a comment on Seizures by Sunny	Sunny 66.69.36.171	20-May-06/7:18 AM
Thanks for commenting on the fact that you think it sounds good. It's about a diagnosis, & how I saw the world at that moment...however, in the end, it sends off with an up note stating I will leave that gloom 'for the weak'. ~Sunny
Re: The Wife and the Spider by Caducus	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:41 AM
I don't know why she swallowed the spider that wiggled and jiggled and giggled inside her.
Re: Foray by richa	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:37 AM
How far can a man walk into a forest?
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:27 AM
These mathmatical and number poems just don't do it for me.
Re: Seizures by Sunny	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:07 AM
Sounds good. I have no idea what it means.
Re: a comment on Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	Caducus 86.141.200.125	20-May-06/2:45 AM
how about 16 half closed eyes? - idea behind that is to imply they have to see it so they can know the murderers gone but at the same time they find the idea barbaric?
Re: a comment on Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	Caducus 86.141.200.125	20-May-06/2:40 AM
Ok i just edited a new version. Let me explain why i chose to use two limp hands. It seems obvious why but in onew word it would be 'redemption' that is the notion that prisoners often self proclaim they find and get. I may use your complete verse instead but i'm hungover to fuckery at the moment so will go back to it when jack daniels leaves my body alone.
Re: a comment on Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	Caducus 86.141.200.125	20-May-06/2:34 AM
Love the exodus idea its hard and effective. You may have a point about the sixteen silies, the four tears represent the parents of the murderer and the sixteen smiles the victims parents, however I do have limits on a first draft and you've spent time crafting a thoughtful and helpful comment and i appreciate that. Sometimes i write two versions of the poem and in this case i think i will as i can conclude with others what is best to do for the poem. Dovina mentioned the last line which is pivotal though perhaps preachy as it leads to what the title and act does - it leads to nothing. thanks for your comments you and dovina often support me and its good of u both.
Re: Seizures by Sunny	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/5:13 PM
"Tulips like porcelain" is good. But seizures? How so? The last line refers to a non-weak person. How are old pictures apparitions? Otherwise, some good lines.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/4:58 PM
Thank you for pointing out that I deposited this lovely crochet-edged hankie next to the bin where it can be seen by passers-by, not only for its crafted beauty, but also for its earthy richness. To have said that I put it IN the bin could only have meant that I was ashamed of it, and that was certainly not your intent. Oh, I am so flattered that you understood this delicate rendering and thought enough of it to apply this fine metaphor.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/4:58 PM
Keep the men in your life dizzy, but never give ‘em anything special. That’s what my grandmother used to say.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/4:42 PM
I like it upo to the last line, which preaches. Also, the title bothers me because it is not about numbers or addition or zero, but about sewing and reaping perhaps, or about not killing the bastard after his first murder, or about not killing in the name of justice - something like that.
Re: a comment on Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	lmp 141.154.134.3	19-May-06/11:58 AM
also, in re-reading, i think making more of aconnection in the last verse: connect the priest to the bible, for certainly he would be holding one. his hands would not be limp, as he would most likely be standing and maybe even reading from it (another thought for numbers is to select an actual biblical passage the priest is reading, one that would include numbers). if the limp hands belong to a seated witness, then the bible could be laying on them, i suppose. as i read this last part, i felt it should lead off: one bible in two calm hands, one priest, reading Exodus 21:23-25 incidentally, I Wikipedia-ed the "eye for an eye" biblical passages: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_eye_for_an_eye which coughed up Exodus, Leviticus, and Dueterotomy. since my biblical knowledge is minimal, i scanned the related wikipedia liks and decided that Exodus seems the most appropriate since it introduces the code of Hammurabi. Deuterotomy could be a second choice as it also includes passages about Moses' reaffirmation of his covenant with god before his death. but that's my 15 cents...
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	lmp 141.154.134.3	19-May-06/11:22 AM
i like this; my vote now is not set in stone. i think this has more potential... some thoughts: the purist in me would arrange so each time a number is mentioned it is the beginning of a new line. i would count the "nothing" as a number... i am not sure what the intent is, but there is potential for it to have a more powerful impact. not sure exactly how... maybe with more of the "four tears, sixteen smiles" sort of imagery that tells us of the emotion. "four tears" could all be from one eye otr two, no? maybe "thirty-two dry eyes" instead of sixteen smiles; i cannot imagine that many people smiling at an execution, even if they do want to see the guy dead. i like the concept of the title, but it may be a little to literal. maybe drop out "numbers" or try "sum of nothing", "nothing totalled" , etc. AH! "empty tally", that's my choice.
Re: a comment on Rapid Eye Movement by wilco	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:08 AM
That is an appalling idea, you dicksplat>
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:03 AM
like a germ laden hanky deposited NEXT to a bin.
Re: Descartes' Immortal Truth by Edna Sweetlove	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:02 AM
I like the way you voted for yourslf but to give it authenticity you voted 8 rather than 10. However, for a proper spasm of reality why not give it a proper vote of -3-! I arc a rope of cum in your eye and lauch as you wince.
Re: a comment on The Queen Mum - A Tribute by Edna Sweetlove	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/7:59 AM
What about the Queen? are you the kind of cad who wouldn't stifle a fart in her presence. You utter, utter abortion.
Re: a comment on Peeping Through The Window by Edna Sweetlove	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/7:58 AM
You are a cerebral cripple.