Re: a comment on Money Back by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	26-Jun-06/10:31 AM
Glad to see you're still around, i thought the group that i was familiar with had all left. The year went well, im sure i could have done better but then i wouldnt have had as good of a time. Hopefully I'll be able to put some consistent time here now, though. What have you been up to?
Re: Southern Baptist Redneck Song by Edna Sweetlove	lmp 141.154.134.3	26-Jun-06/9:13 AM
dunno, paw. kinna make thunk this edna is pickin on all the good folk livin' south of the mason dixon line. does edna ever write anything BUT satire?
Re: a comment on A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	26-Jun-06/9:11 AM
Thanks Niphredil, I get the point. maybe I need to change it. Shall see what I can do about it. And Nephredil, you have a soft corner for children, right? you'll do well in the long run.
Re: a comment on A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	Niphredil 132.69.238.35	26-Jun-06/8:57 AM
I was also sure it was a 'she'! But then I corrected it to that horrible 'it' for the baby. Can't name her, sorry, without making some kind of political statement...
Re: a comment on A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	Niphredil 132.69.238.35	26-Jun-06/8:54 AM
I agree with Ranger. Everything from the baby's point of view, is great. However, in those two lines I really can't imagine the baby soaring to such heights of logic as to wonder about "humanity's wrath and scorn". After all, all the baby wants is somebody to comfort it, I don't think it understands (or cares, for that matter) about humanity. Other than that, great job, Amanda. I love anything child-oriented you write, you do it so well :-D
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	26-Jun-06/8:46 AM
I read this out to my five year old and the first thing he says after I read it is... "what is her name?" Would anyone like to do the honors and name this unfortunate nameless child of my poem?
Re: a comment on A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.141.175	26-Jun-06/12:22 AM
Thanks Ranger... this vote was quick. I feel there is some meaning to the lines you mentioned. It's like the baby wonders why it has to be the target for man's hatred and enmity. However, shall try to see if there's a better way to word it.
Re: a comment on My secret to life by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.141.175	26-Jun-06/12:18 AM
Ranger, thank you for your vote of confidence. That's all that matters. whether it evokes mixed reactions from the readers is not important. I'm happy I got your response.
Re: The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:32 PM
cunt
Re: The copper man and Labrador by Caducus	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:31 PM
cunt
Re: the perils of internet dating by conny lingers	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:30 PM
cunt
Re: Bad night out at jumpin jaks by scitz	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:26 PM
fucking shit
Re: Always With Me by fallen_rose	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:48 AM
I don't have the time to give my usual full-length essay, but you would benefit from injecting a little of the 'show, don't tell' aspect into your writing.
Re: Money Back by drnick	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:45 AM
Great repeating lines, they make this catchy and cool. A bit more punctuation wouldn't go amiss though. How did the year go? The ranker's missed your presence recently, hope things are going well!
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:42 AM
This is super - I'd get rid of the lines 'I wonder why I was ever born/To feel humanity's wrath and scorn' though.
Re: a comment on My secret to life by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:40 AM
I don't know that I'll be able to come up with anything particularly useful at the moment. Am doing 54-hour weeks currently up to my elbows in butter, cheese, milk and yoghurts at my friendly local supermarket so I'm pretty exhausted and not really thinking straight. The intention was that I'd have some time for writing this summer, but that's yet to materialise. I like the poem; in my opinion the rhyme scheme works nicely except for the last stanza (although the Queen's birthday celebrations are on the TV in the background; quite a distraction when trying to read poetry...) and as a devotional poem it's very good. But as I'm sure you're aware, due to the very nature of the poem, it'll get a mixed reaction. Those who agree with your beliefs will love it, those who disagree probably won't. Umm...that's all I can think of right now. Maybe tomorrow morning will be a better time. P.S. - One-nil to the Eng-er-land!
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	25-Jun-06/9:19 AM
Thanks Al. As for the last lines... it merely means.... come and take me away lest I'm history.
Re: Southern Baptist Redneck Song by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/8:20 AM
Yep, satire.
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/8:16 AM
Powerful stuff. The last two lines are a little hard to understand. Do you mean something like "or else I'll be one of those lost to history"?
Re: a comment on All Hail! All Hail! America The Golden! by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/6:29 AM
Everything you write is a satire of yourself.