| Re: a comment on Timing by Dovina |
some deleted user 171.69.215.184 |
11-Oct-06/6:24 PM |
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True of many women in rural India except for the last two lines !!
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| Re: a comment on Cassius by helenwales |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:17 PM |
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| Re: Cassius by helenwales |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:16 PM |
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Yes I like sex with pussies 2.
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| Re: The Grand Adjustment by horus8 |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:15 PM |
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Long-winded overbearing pseudo-illiterate TWADDLE
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:14 PM |
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pretentious - what a surprise!
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| Re: Confession of a troubled man by Hostileintent |
Edna Sweetlove 85.210.218.23 |
11-Oct-06/5:12 PM |
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If you like doggerel, this is the one 4 U.
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| Re: Emotionally Unavailable by horus8 |
oddgreenout 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/5:03 PM |
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| Re: horus8 by sooz |
oddgreenout 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:59 PM |
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| Re: lNoOvTe by fiefofum |
fiefofum 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:56 PM |
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| Re: a comment on weather poem part 3: the hurricane (renga) by nypoet22 |
nypoet22 72.144.83.200 |
11-Oct-06/4:47 PM |
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Sweet sap nestled deep inside,
she will holds what snowfall comes
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| Re: forest morning by fiefofum |
fiefofum 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:44 PM |
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| Re: Figid Rrigid by Hostileintent |
Hostileintent 86.41.204.214 |
11-Oct-06/4:30 PM |
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tried a new format for this one....what do people think??
1underlying message (danger)split into its letters, each letter to start a sentence
2each sentence is 10 syllables
3each sentence composed of 2 parts
1st part of two words
2nd part of 3 words
4first and second words of each part relate
5last word in each line different, but rhyming????????
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| Re: snot by fattony |
pete 195.92.168.164 |
11-Oct-06/1:55 PM |
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started out as yet another edna yet the final line shows a true poetic sensibility ... what else ya got, dude ?
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| Re: The Mandarin by Caducus |
pete 195.92.168.164 |
11-Oct-06/1:47 PM |
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when i'm loving, yet never when i fuck ... yeah, that's nice , the 2 fucks work i think, but how about when you fuck while you're loving ... freud would probably have a ball here...what with dad and all .. :)
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| Re: Perversions by razorgrin |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/1:16 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Dead Inside by drnick |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/1:09 PM |
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Glad to hear it. You should come to Cardiff, we'll go on an emo-purging spree. The place is covered in them.
I've got a few poems hovering around, incomplete and absolutely tormenting my soul because I don't know what to do with them. Now that I'm back studying again the inspiration will hopefully return. I know what you mean about having no time for blogs though. I used to write stories on my MySpace blog, but that hasn't happened for a while now. Perhaps I should start again.
How are the classes going?
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| Re: The Mandarin by Caducus |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/1:05 PM |
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Ummm...I kind of like this, but it feels unfinished. The imagery is solid, except maybe you could describe the ring a bit more, and also the picture. I really don't like the penultimate line, 'fuck' used up all its shock value the first time, stands out as a hard line end in amidst 6 soft endings, and the whole line seems unnecessary. I mean, what circumstances could there possibly be in which you did actually think of a picture of your father while having sex?
13 photo frames? Is the number significant, other than being unlucky?
Love the first two lines, and I think I like the last one too.
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| Re: Jesus Around Your Neck (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20 |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/12:58 PM |
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| Re: Words (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20 |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/12:56 PM |
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Don't like the initial cliche (wearing heart on sleeve), the rest is fine.
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| Re: a comment on Words (Final Version) by Wakeboarder20 |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
11-Oct-06/12:56 PM |
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Not necessarily. There was a story here recently about a guy whose girlfriend committed suicide. She was terminally depressed and had tried to kill herself before. He didn't try to save her life, just held her for the whole day as she died so she wouldn't die alone. The poem reminded me strongly of that.
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