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snot (Free verse) by fattony last night in my nostrel i felt a clot
it turned out to be a really sticky snot
it took ages to remove as it was caught
in the matted nose hairs
Up the ladder:
a toast to the sky
Down the ladder:
My Sun
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.6666667
Posted: October 11, 2006 4:08 AM PDT; Last modified: October 13, 2006 9:26 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.8410625 Overall Rank: 10670 Comments:
[6]
pete @ 195.92.168.164
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11-Oct-06/1:55 PM
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Reply
started out as yet another edna yet the final line shows a true poetic sensibility ... what else ya got, dude ?
[4]
Dovina @ 12.72.35.74
> pete
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13-Oct-06/3:42 PM
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Reply
I disagree, it's no better than Edna.
This showed considerable promise until that 4th line.
I suggest the last line should read: "in the matted nose hairs i clipped so short" And you spell nostril with an "i", dearie. 107 view(s)
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