| Re: Sex Object by Dovina |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
4-Jan-07/7:49 AM |
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This poem has an overtone of a persecuted jew about it.
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| Re: Let Me Entertain You by Bethy |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
4-Jan-07/7:38 AM |
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| Re: Dream Grower by Enkidu |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
4-Jan-07/7:28 AM |
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I thought this said "Dream Gower" which could have been about the majestic cover drive of the finest left handed batsman this country has ever produced. However you had to ruin it by not mentioning that at all, and actually having a title which resembles "Dream Gower", instead you seem to have produced a poem which could easily have been written by an eight year old who has been drinking too much pottery glaze.
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| Re: a comment on Russian absinthe by AlexandraLeaving |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
4-Jan-07/7:18 AM |
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Ranger you like everything, a vote from you is like a wet fart in a pair of somebody elses trousers in a different country.
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| Re: Spots of Gray by Miggy |
some deleted user 64.140.228.166 |
4-Jan-07/4:12 AM |
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This is good--I know this is a lyric and it's hard to critique without the music, but to me the rhythm is off in a couple of places--good work though.
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| Re: Thoughts On Edible Creatures by MacFrantic |
some deleted user 64.140.228.166 |
4-Jan-07/4:03 AM |
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| Re: Moving On by MacFrantic |
some deleted user 64.140.228.166 |
4-Jan-07/3:59 AM |
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Dovina is right, the rhythm and rhyme are great--nice work.
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| Re: new year by teenborg |
Dental Panic 84.27.81.27 |
3-Jan-07/9:20 AM |
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"Cream carpets were not the best buy, were they?
So- where was I?"
It made me feel pretty sick, this poem. So I guess it's a good poem.
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| Re: a comment on Blue, Black & White by oneglove |
oneglove 67.96.12.6 |
3-Jan-07/8:47 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Blue, Black & White by oneglove |
oneglove 67.96.12.6 |
3-Jan-07/8:46 AM |
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| Re: Fanatic by Dovina |
some deleted user 64.140.228.15 |
2-Jan-07/9:06 PM |
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"bogged in the gray slough of factuality." I quite like that line--it reminds me of a couple of people I know.
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| Re: Russian absinthe by AlexandraLeaving |
some deleted user 64.140.228.15 |
2-Jan-07/8:52 PM |
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I like this also--it has a nice rhythm to it.
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| Re: Bitter by Ranger |
some deleted user 80.225.123.186 |
2-Jan-07/12:59 PM |
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Interesting poem ranger, so she upset you then?!
Nice use of verse and very morish.
Colin
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| Re: Edna's Christmas Farewell by Edna Sweetlove |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
2-Jan-07/8:36 AM |
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Verily the most whimsical jape of the season.
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| Re: Fanatic by Dovina |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
2-Jan-07/8:35 AM |
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Is this about Saddam Hussein?
If so its brilliant.
If not it makes no sense.
Happy New Year, and enjoy the hadj.
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| Re: Fanatic by Dovina |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Jan-07/1:31 AM |
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Love the last stanza and like the idea within 'greenly', although I hate the word itself. 'Factuality' really doesn't sit well as a line end, 'fact' would do just as well for me.
Too many uses of 'he'; maybe you're trying to show his idealistic egocentrism, but it sits awkwardly with me. Still effective though.
Happy New Year :-)
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| Re: Russian absinthe by AlexandraLeaving |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Jan-07/1:26 AM |
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I quite like this and I don't know why.
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| Re: Happy birthday to myself by Prince of Void |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
2-Jan-07/1:17 AM |
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| Re: Happy birthday to myself by Prince of Void |
Dovina 75.82.85.162 |
1-Jan-07/12:16 PM |
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So many grammar glitches here, I have to wonder if the few correct phrases are mistakes in a dialect of hopelessness.
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| Re: My Heart by unouluvme |
Dovina 75.82.85.162 |
1-Jan-07/11:56 AM |
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The title seems distant from the subject, makes me wonder who or what is buried.
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