poemranker ::Dream Grower by Enkidu

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Free verse № 148450

Dream Grower

by Enkidu

Member since 2004 · Posted 1 Jan 2007 · 5 comments

Grow a dream and I'll finagle it from out your ear, and give you a subtle smirk. Grow a dream and the years of planting from my eyes will coax petals to bloom from your smile. Grow a dream weakly and my fingers will drown it: my digits fluttering as soft rain where the dawn is fleshy and brilliant. Grow this dream for me, strongly, and for fortune's sake, your dream-vines will twist and choke my own until we wake.

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mean 4.75 weighted 4.97 rank 8441 views 137 View voting details →

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5 comments

[2] Stephen Robins 4-Jan-07/7:28 AM Reply
I thought this said "Dream Gower" which could have been about the majestic cover drive of the finest left handed batsman this country has ever produced. However you had to ruin it by not mentioning that at all, and actually having a title which resembles "Dream Gower", instead you seem to have produced a poem which could easily have been written by an eight year old who has been drinking too much pottery glaze.
[n/a] Enkidu › Stephen Robins 4-Jan-07/12:36 PM Reply
Much appreciated. I'll go kill myself now because you posted this comment. How can I go on?
[8] Dovina 4-Jan-07/4:56 PM Reply
At first I thought you were in tune with the writer of Hebrews: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love.” But the choking twist in the last verse has a sinister tone that sounds self-sacrificial. If you want the coaxing and stimulation of the first part, then consider a softer ending. Overall I like it.
[9] deleted user 7-Jan-07/3:56 AM Reply
Good work--solid images.
[2] Stephen Robins › deleted user 22-Jan-07/3:17 AM Reply
Good comment--soiled images.