Re: a comment on Fanatic by Dovina	Dovina 75.82.85.162	1-Jan-07/11:36 AM
Yes, He should have known he was running out of time, Should have known his mocking sneers were paper shields, should have surrendered his great city of vision to the reality of a larger plot. So, when a cold wind slammed into his green life, it forced him to stop looking the other way, to face the instruction of a whip, and cast his pat answers into the riverbed as dust. He gave up his vision of beauty and order For the void of chaos. It was the first stage of his growing up.
Re: Fanatic by Dovina	Prince of Void 87.107.15.20	31-Dec-06/9:04 AM
he shoud know he's running out of time open up, surrender to the plot when a cold wind blew on this day we looked the other way tomorrow we might find the answers lay in riverbeds and dust we believed sth beyond the beauty and order our great city of vision lost in this beautiful choas
Re: Cloche. by howl	Prince of Void 87.107.15.20	31-Dec-06/8:48 AM
keep going on ..it's very cinematic
Re: a comment on "incomplete" by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 87.107.15.20	31-Dec-06/8:46 AM
the depth of sadness and void means nothing when you leave them behind ...you are right
Re: Moving On by MacFrantic	Dovina 208.127.72.169	28-Dec-06/3:07 PM
The rhythm and rhyme are so good that the lapses glare.
Re: "incomplete" by Prince of Void	Dovina 208.127.72.169	28-Dec-06/3:04 PM
Made with a void - how sad. But how comforting when a void is filled. The shape of a void is the reverse of the thing that fits there.
Re: a comment on The blankness of his life by Nicholas Jones	Prince of Void 213.207.253.9	27-Dec-06/9:49 AM
you are right that point that happiness is transient
Re: soft candy by skaskowski	MacFrantic 71.237.26.195	25-Dec-06/10:49 AM
I loved this before and it's still good revised.
Re: Advent by Nicholas Jones	howl 81.178.70.203	23-Dec-06/3:12 PM
Sounds like something the wretched Dovina would write. It is all tell and not show.
Re: a comment on Cornerstones by polaroidmemory	polaroidmemory 4.131.55.223	22-Dec-06/8:38 PM
You'll have to explain your comment in more detail because to me, it makes no sense.
Re: Cornerstones by polaroidmemory	daggatolar 82.128.11.128	19-Dec-06/10:30 PM
"I am willing to try", if only all others can in the same spirit uphold...then we can bring Heaven down to Mother earth... abeg thematically tight... who can then care for "cliches" and "metaphors"...
Re: Then things forgotten inside by Prince of Void	daggatolar 82.128.11.128	19-Dec-06/10:10 PM
you don't find them... you don't find a poem...
Re: Romantic dreams by John Rambo	Nicholas Jones 86.135.251.20	17-Dec-06/7:42 AM
Yep, misogyny is hilarious, isn't it?
Re: Homeless by Dovina	Prince of Void 213.207.253.23	16-Dec-06/9:36 AM
That was great ...soon i will share one of my experiences... I had faced a homeless better to say he was placeless in this world. They live where this world lost so long... So late-meeting but I'm feeling in this way... Their actions ask how do whys become void? The void makes them homeless in the hopeless shape... the shapes of their hearts make all differences
Re: Advent by Nicholas Jones	Prince of Void 213.207.253.23	16-Dec-06/9:17 AM
I was sleeping and being comforted By a cool breeze, when suddenly a grey dove From a thicket sang and sobbed with longing And reminded me of my own passion I had been away from my own soul so long So late-sleeping .but that’s dove’s crying Woke me and made me cry, praise To all early-walking believer
Re: Chord before the crescendo by Caducus	Dovina 75.82.106.103	14-Dec-06/1:28 PM
The first two verses are great. I lost you in “My boxed instrument burned,” (think you could omit it) but the rest of Verse 3 is good, and the last line is great.
Re: a comment on Be The One by forsaken	forsaken 24.227.242.111	14-Dec-06/1:19 PM
No offence taking, and yeah she isn't with me and most likly ever will be. Even though I know this I still long for her as I've done since the first time I saw her on Oct. 8, 05.
Re: The Picture by Caducus	Dovina 75.82.106.103	14-Dec-06/12:57 PM
I like this up to the last stanza. There, the angst about Jesus seems another subject, detracting from the unique way this picture was painted or drawn.
Re: In the middle by celticskatermatt1	leonxic 129.7.121.238	14-Dec-06/12:56 PM
No deaths is good. Try adding an extra syllable in l5 and two more l8 (maybe after "No deaths"); trust me it will flow better. Also the "the" in l8 is superfluous.
Re: untitled by MacFrantic	leonxic 129.7.121.238	14-Dec-06/12:50 PM
I sense some contempt. Fantastic writing. 10.