Re: My Sinatra by sca	Dovina 12.74.101.236	9-Jun-07/2:39 PM
Sinatra serenades for the suffering secretary - on the radio driving home.
Re: leaves of clover by lmp	Dovina 12.74.101.236	9-Jun-07/2:37 PM
"the bees drone on" is a good line because drones do no work. So I wonder at "Drones' labor" Also, the truck would have been loaded with honey, not nect'r or nectar. "we never knows"??? Otherwise pretty good.
Re: turd cutter by Count Flatula	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/1:52 AM
you know, the content isn't why I'm giving this a 0, because I actually find feminism provoking bits and pieces amusing. I'm giving this a 0 because you could've done something better. the meter's out and the rhyme happens once. put some time into it.
Re: Persnickety by malpaso	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:42 AM
I think this could be expanded on, lines changes and lengthened, others added. Fatten up the story if you will - the story's clear but the details aren't. => Jess
Re: Jesus by Sing4Jesus!	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:19 AM
I like your poetry. Why are you listed so lowly?
Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:15 AM
Very, very nice. This tipped off my tongue beautifully, and the language/wording is excellent. It's classy in the beautiful sense.
Re: a comment on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:14 AM
although correctly, not neccessarily the same flower, probably more to do with his capture of light (aka moments)
Re: a comment on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:13 AM
the waterlillies?
Re: May Monday Explanation by MacFrantic	sca 124.191.64.6	9-Jun-07/12:03 AM
I like the first four lines, but after that it's like the meter/syllables/what-ever-poetry-nuts-call-it completely changes... I mean, the meaning works, really well, but that sudden drop between moment and erode just doesn't sit right as I read it. => Jess
Re: 0 by MacFrantic	lmp 141.154.134.3	8-Jun-07/3:41 PM
pi
Re: a comment on The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	lmp 141.154.134.3	8-Jun-07/3:39 PM
better yet, avoid the whole "chair that goes poof!" by using said truncheon (which, if of good quality, will triple its eight inch length when activated) as a seat. of course, you may want to carry a small inflatable pillow to put over the end of said truncheon before attempting to rest the "broad and handsome behind" on it; one could end up with a pole up one's arse instead. oh, how humiliating that would be!
Re: a comment on Bitter by Ranger	lmp 141.154.134.3	8-Jun-07/3:30 PM
um. busy, and that's why i havent been on. work's getting in the way of my extracurricular online life again, damnit!
Re: Beslan by Ranger	drnick 24.247.158.152	8-Jun-07/1:22 PM
Flawless with an outsanding closing line. If you like that sort of thing. ;)
Re: a comment on Beslan by Ranger	Ranger 81.103.124.179	8-Jun-07/4:27 AM
We have a balalaika at home, a genuine Russian piece of rubbish. Whoever made it seemed to think it would be funny to string instruments with cheesewire. I don't feel I can change line 1 to the singular; it is in part deliberately ambiguous (talking to the terrorists or to God - either way 'balalaikas' works, I think) as it was being worked out as I went (4th, possibly 5th type ambiguity for those Empson disciples out there).
Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	Ranger 81.103.124.179	8-Jun-07/4:20 AM
In future I advise you to be prepared for such eventualities: always carry a portable truncheon so as to beat such presumptuous yobs across the pate for troubling you. It is important to lay down the law as soon as possible, or they will start taking all sorts of liberties like walking in public places or heckling you for a chip at 3am.
Re: Melancholy Tart by Skamper	Ranger 81.103.124.179	8-Jun-07/4:14 AM
I like it, all except the exclamation mark at the very end. Turns it from being quite a maudlin piece into what seems like it's meant to be a joke. Metrically I'd change 'remain' to 'stay', and maybe tweak the third stanza. Perhaps: "I feel a little melancholy" (whispered to no-one in particular) ..." etc.
Re: Persnickety by malpaso	Ranger 81.103.124.179	8-Jun-07/4:09 AM
Catchy, perhaps a little thin on the narrative depth, but still good fun to read aloud.
Re: a comment on Bitter by Ranger	Ranger 81.103.124.179	8-Jun-07/4:05 AM
I won poemeranker! How the devil are you these days? It's nice to see you around again :-)
Re: a comment on The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	8-Jun-07/2:26 AM
Sorry it is weak in places, however it was written after two bottles of 2001 Chassagne Montrachet 1er cru. I was therefore off my face. I will not make further amendments as I which to leave this poem as testament to the effects of fine wine on syntax.
Re: The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins	Skamper 202.6.130.223	7-Jun-07/4:17 PM
Blackpool? Great little tale - true story? Surely there has been a ban on those suits of shell for years! I feel this wibbles and wobbles in places, could be tighter.