Re: Another Date by Dovina	pete 62.56.126.204	6-Aug-07/4:51 PM
and shed a bitter tear
Re: Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS! by Sing4Jesus!	dclark 67.140.204.211	6-Aug-07/11:42 AM
i've realized you really love jesus, and god, and all that bullshit, but if you love somethings give it away, you may have heard that saying before. what i'm saying is in this song of yours, if you killed someone, i don't think your jesus would be to happy.. maybe try writting about some other things?? maybe? .......
Re: Voices Within by DJCopasetic	dclark 67.140.204.211	6-Aug-07/11:36 AM
after the second verse i just quit reading it.... you rhymes are to simple, and to everywhere... i agree with cheese doodles.
Re: My first Haiku by DJCopasetic	dclark 67.140.204.211	6-Aug-07/11:33 AM
Can you not write a better Haiku than a 5th grader?
Re: Sadist by PoetryIsDead	Dovina 71.213.127.223	4-Aug-07/10:13 AM
Good title for this.
Re: Mosaic by Caducus	Dovina 71.213.127.223	4-Aug-07/10:12 AM
Do you really need two "holy"'s? The first verse is a riddle - 4 generations I think. The last two lines are great. Thanks for making me read Psalm 34 again.
Re: To a Grunting Man on the Train by Christof	Dovina 71.213.127.223	4-Aug-07/10:07 AM
I am with you until the last three lines. The ending switches topic too much and is unclear.
Re: Beggar by MacFrantic	Dovina 71.213.127.223	4-Aug-07/10:03 AM
Please stop writing about this woman on a bicycle, crossing America coast to coast, now three-fourths of the way from Virginia to California. I can relate to much of the sentiment in this. What are you riding?
Re: a comment on Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 71.213.127.223	4-Aug-07/9:43 AM
Do you mean "shades of white"?
Re: Beggar by MacFrantic	amanda_dcosta 61.17.222.221	4-Aug-07/9:26 AM
Too much emphasis on the word beggar. And yes, it rings quite clear that this beggar wants to remain a beggar. I like the half rhymes you use.... but still think you could come up with something better than ...'travels on to something rural.'
Re: Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 61.17.222.221	4-Aug-07/8:31 AM
I have now changed Stanza 3 line 1 to read "Seagulls in shades of while", which originally read "seagulls in pearly whites". Maybe this is a better option. What do you think?
Re: a comment on Caprice by PoetryIsDead	PoetryIsDead 76.97.67.182	3-Aug-07/3:41 PM
well.. it makes sense to me.. hah.. i really do appreciate the vote and the criticism.. but i was simply trying to reiterate that while thinking about all those things.. i wound up 'driving for miles without remembering it'... again
Re: The Occasional Love by SomeNewKill	SupremeDreamer 192.220.136.191	3-Aug-07/12:46 PM
breath = breathe? Also, this whole thing is confused. Many aspects of this poem reminds me of pimples. Though slightly more matured than the average pimple, it still possesses puss. Blessed with a two.
Re: Eroticism by Prince of Void	SupremeDreamer 192.220.136.191	3-Aug-07/12:41 PM
Can you be more inorganic?
Re: All tonight wandering along in the broken dreams by Prince of Void	SupremeDreamer 192.220.136.191	3-Aug-07/12:22 PM
If your going to do this sort of shit, why not do it better than the classic pimple cliche piece? Blessed with one.
Re: Caprice by PoetryIsDead	SupremeDreamer 192.220.136.191	3-Aug-07/12:13 PM
The last line is a little confusing to me. Blessed with seven.
Re: All tonight wandering along in the broken dreams by Prince of Void	Christof 62.121.23.56	3-Aug-07/1:29 AM
Believe me, it's over. Get over it, 'Meadows of owes?'
Re: a comment on Goldmunds Slut Fiasco v.2 [Revised] by Y2kSlamPoet	SupremeDreamer 192.220.136.195	2-Aug-07/5:15 PM
Thank you. :)
Re: a comment on California Bound by Dovina	pete 62.56.110.249	2-Aug-07/3:10 PM
lol....hi doylie
Re: a comment on California Bound by Dovina	pete 62.56.110.249	2-Aug-07/3:10 PM
t'aint so