zodiac
replying on Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac
28 Oct 2004, 10:41 AM
I actually meant him to sound like the Devill in the Charlie Daniels Band song "The Devil Went Down on Georgie," which I don't actually recall ever having heard.
zodiac
replying on Summer nights alone and their affect on the psyche by oneglove
28 Oct 2004, 10:34 AM
A real Master wouldn't have used "affect" as a nown. He would have used "effect". Nice catch!
i had intended to rank this poem on its merits, but then I read the comments. adverb indeed. -0-
I'm glad to see you writing again. I wish you'd spend as much time writing as you do attempting to make Poemranker newbies feel bad about themselves. You're not half bad, is what I'm trying to say.
OOOOH, I do feel good. I love life. PERIOD. And I don't have a problem w/ you personally. OH, WAIT, who are you? I mean you give me so many 0's w/ so many people I just don't know. Sometimes I just want to go thro' the list and just retaliate. Is my poetry that BAD? I mean 00000? I have never IN MY LIFE read a poem that was worth nothing. NEVER. Every poem ever written whether by poe or wadsworth or shelley or me is worth something< EH?
Here you are again with anoyher f******n 0 on my poetry? I don't make five suedonimmmes of myself to give you hateful scores. WHY?>
nice job. when God is speaking it reminds me of a band named mewithoutYou. i found this interesting since they are christian band. it evokes good emotions and pulls the reader in. very nice.
Title sounds like a master's thesis. "hands on my heart" - like it. S2 - why not leave out the The"'s? "beloved" sounds archaic in this context.
I do too have a soul! I keep it in a secret hidden thimble.
perhaps you are beak
and in which orafice were you enjoying this "cone"?
you are so weak.
you are so inadequate.
Prayer is ok but have you tried heroin? Honestly it is the panacea!
By posting this prayer on a public prayer ranking website, you've definitely increased your chances of getting into heaven. Well done!
Astonishing use of "fumes" to rhyme with "perfume".
Yes, I think it would be a good idea for you to replace a grammatically-correct and stupid-sounding line with one that is, at least, correct. The only reasons I can think of that you wouldn't change it is that you think "discover" is an especially exciting and evocative word and you have a poet's somewhat illfounded aversion to the word "thing". As far as discover goes, it's not. You just think so because it's long and you think long words, inappropriately used, are better than short words, appropriately used. If your point is to evoke some feeling for the reader, discover does nothing. Who the fuck has ever discovered anything and then said, oh, what I'm doing now is "discovering"? Hereafter, whenever I hear the word "discover" it will recall for me that dizzying bowel-loosening feeling I have now! No one, that's who.
"Thing" is probably a poor word choice, but not nearly as bad as an ungrammatical, botched-metered line for the sake of using "discover". Why don't you use "everything" in the place of "all the things"? Or figure something out yourself. I'm not going to write your fucking poem for you, JEEZ!!!!
This rings home for me. I've been asked to come cut down some trees from the Hayman burn area on the Eastern slope Of the Colorado Rockies(Just about 50 miles from my home). Turns out I used to picnic where these people are building a house.
So true. the part about the poison.
Hey , do me a favor, read my poem into my world, acrostic. Tell me what you think. It made it to the top ten in less than a week. But personally, I think it's kinda weak.