Dovina
replying on Math Poem 3 by Dovina
1 Jan 2005, 1:28 PM
Give them extra credit for singing under water, or cleaning the blackboard with their tongues, or keeping their fingernails clean, but please, never for writing poetry.
When the sun rises my angel, I shall be there with thee
Never allowing thy soul to stray from me.Just a little
something from my next poem. I really like this poem,
keep up the good work -9-
My students loves reading your math poems. I think Im going to let them write one for extra credit, since they keep asking me. Felicia
I wrote that waaaay back!! So please comment accordingly. I know it's not good!!
No I dont think so. Perhaps I am getting to old to keep up with you young people at age fifty (smile)
Seem to me you were a little depressed at the beginning of the poem,but you got yourself together.
Remember love with esteem cannot go far or reach high. It is an angel with only one wing. -9-
Well, I really thought you was a goil. Maybe you are doing a perspective thing (sometimes I pretend I'm human). I think you have to be a goil.
So. As it is then. Having trouble finding its mission, and if I have then it was found by the end of the second stanza.
Made me consider it though, without hesitation.
thats great,i don't really know if it was a poem or not, but it had a lesson and it made you think a little so its good enough for me, 9
Verse 2 is especially nice. It can happen anywhere.
A comma after remonstrate would relieve some ambiguity. And conventional spacing would help. It's quite good, really, just hard to wade through at first.
Please return later today for the exciting continuation of math poems. Number 3 will astound you! Happy New Year!
The first half implies some trick of writing you are planning, but I don't see it coming through.
Quotes around the second half imply a note you left for her to find as if by accident. But the line about a charade doesn't work if that's true.
Will there be a Math Poem 3? I can hardly wait to find out if 3=1+1+1 or if 3=cute+more cuter+most cutest.
Actually, the only math I understand is the bills and paycheck in my hand=0.
I'm going to pawn my bass today so I can buy a bottle of Andre's Champagne for tonight's midnight toast. Happy New Year!!!
I was sitting here in rehab, and listing to the other patients talk about different things, and I decided to write this, whether
It was a poem or not. I tell my elder son blacksoul, you can focus on the obstacles, or you can go on and decide what your going to do about it. To me, it breaks down to that; you can do and not just be.
Do I agree with the premise? I agree we made gods, but as for the reason - we'd have to agree on a definition of an adult.
I put this in the category of "thoughts that might turn into poems".
I try to make my own conclusions without reading the other comments, but I share Dovina's unease with "chimera".
Having trouble with the disparity it implies, because I don't see it in the action. And the only link I see with the beak is with the color partially matching the flames breathed by that mythical beast - but that is a longshot at best. Fire/Water disparity?? - I actually wouldn't be too surprised if *you* were going for that (and that is meant as a compliment).
Otherwise, its a soothing piece. Mellow with an interesting but not startling turn. "plumped tail" is very nice. Don't know what would work better than "lob", maybe "float" for several reasons you can probably see for yourself. But lob works well too.