Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

willitwork (Lyric) by FreeFormFixation
Hand-write me a letter and i'll come running back, covered in feathers thick as leather hoping that we'll get together again. But I'm not so naive to think that we've unwoven the strands in the steel barricade of distance. I'm just emptily hopeful, believing home will have built itself in my absence. "I don't have the nerve to face that girl without my cue cards. I just jot out my thoughts and blot out the spots where the sentences are sewn together. (to make a seamless presentation). Maybe if she cared at all she'd scrawl that note out and leave it on my porch while i'm at work. It be much easier to face her like that, if this charade i've played just stayed faceless and detached."


You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Weighted score: 4.880797
Overall Rank: 10299
Posted: December 30, 2004 10:53 PM PST; Last modified: December 30, 2004 10:53 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 31-Dec-04/8:32 AM | Reply
The first half implies some trick of writing you are planning, but I don't see it coming through.

Quotes around the second half imply a note you left for her to find as if by accident. But the line about a charade doesn't work if that's true.
225 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001