Shuushin
replying on Mallard by richa
2 Jan 2005, 7:08 AM
That would depend on the perspective of the viewer... And I suppose it would be fixed their entire life.
So you are saying the disparity lies in that the duck was smiling and should have been frowning (or displaying some other emotion, like bemusement) - or was the anthropomorphism the striking thing?
Nicely done. I feel like it ended a little bit like the thought was pushed through a steel mesh somehow.
And the use of "akimbo" completely pulled me out of what was a very nice and interest-keeping ride.
I have no suggestion on how to fix that ending, so I leave it in your capable hands.
I thought it implied, at its most general, a combination of two or more things that seem strangely combined. That's what I meant by disparity.
It can also be a beasyy that is part lion, part goat and part serpent that, oh by the way - breathes fire.
I've been kindof waiting since my original post for someone to say "Hey stupid, it also means 'orange'", or something else, but it hasn't happened. Meanwhile I've looked around and I can't find any other descriptor/meaning for chimera that helps me otherwise out.
You got something?
This is my first time trying to write a "Prose Poem"
Except, of course, that "x / x/3" equals 1/3, wherever you put spaces. You meant "x/(x/3) = 3"
This is the best poem you've ever written. I'm serious.
What kind of poetry website are you reading poems on? Obviously, you haven't yet seen gems like http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
Oh............. thanks. A few more questions, if you don't mind. I'll do nice ones this time, promise.
1) Your university let you get away with a dissertation called "Religious Orientation and Meaning in Life"? No offense, but that sounds like an Exit Essay by a rather precocious 8th grader.
1a) Did you write it in the seventies, or are you a latecomer to grad school and New Agey gobble?
2) Bunk. I know because I'm a Christian Humanist from way back and you're nothing like me.
3) What did you call yourself before you were Doug Soderstom, Ph.D.?
4) Regarding your #4 above, will you be deleting this poem now?
5) I live in the Middle East. Is there any way you can just scan your dissertation and post it on the net? Barring that, can I see highlights? Even the abstract would be killer.
As always, your friend in Christ,
zodiac,
M.A., B.A.^2, CPR, LG, BD, PCV, SCA, visiting lecturer on Islam Retardation at the Al-Karak Center for Self-Care and Care, Waseya, Jordan
2 Jan 2005
A nice sentiment. Hard to make an emotional dent in an event of such scope.
After feeding the tree all summer, we put on this little show of color, then die. Long live Autumn! Good poem, but I want to be serenaded.
Understand the crooked maze. And not a bad use of words that rhyme with it.
"strived for more than what was mine" Good line, and I say that because I have done that.
"lucky few to have seen a miracle" Yes, and it's so easy to see afterward.
Your explanitory notes at beginning and end only detract. The poem stands on its own.
This could be said with 1/3 as many words and twice the impact.