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Elopement (Other) by Sasha
That afternoon as your pupil’s blue Reflected and magnified The water that rose and water that fell And we lay by rhythmic tide, You held me so I couldn’t tell The sea from the waves in your eyes Or either from the flood of blue That spilled across the skies. I sunk in you and, through and through, became no longer me. We rose and we fell as if we two might imitate the sea. No scouring ship nor plane that flew Would ever find me there: Sunken in you, awash in your blue By the shore of your sand-bright hair.

Up the ladder: Yield

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.8333335
Weighted score: 5.7620006
Overall Rank: 1795
Posted: December 30, 2004 9:25 PM PST; Last modified: December 30, 2004 9:25 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] richa @ 81.178.233.69 | 31-Dec-04/5:07 AM | Reply
I have no doubt you write well.
[9] Dovina @ 69.175.6.101 | 31-Dec-04/8:24 AM | Reply
Romantic! It's like Beach Villanelle, but better, a lot better. I must complain, however, about "magnified" because anything reflected from a person's eye is not magnified, but reduced in size as in a convex mirror. Overall very appealing.
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.11.30 > Dovina | 1-Jan-05/10:15 PM | Reply
It only reflected smaller. It refracted magnified.
[9] Scarlett @ 70.171.72.141 | 24-Mar-06/4:09 PM | Reply
This has the feeling of Caribbean ocean coolness, quenching the heat of sandy shores. Very nice…
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