Replying to a comment on:

Elopement (Other) by Sasha

That afternoon as your pupil’s blue Reflected and magnified The water that rose and water that fell And we lay by rhythmic tide, You held me so I couldn’t tell The sea from the waves in your eyes Or either from the flood of blue That spilled across the skies. I sunk in you and, through and through, became no longer me. We rose and we fell as if we two might imitate the sea. No scouring ship nor plane that flew Would ever find me there: Sunken in you, awash in your blue By the shore of your sand-bright hair.

Dovina 31-Dec-04/8:24 AM
Romantic! It's like Beach Villanelle, but better, a lot better. I must complain, however, about "magnified" because anything reflected from a person's eye is not magnified, but reduced in size as in a convex mirror. Overall very appealing.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001