i like this - makes you think - 9

uch, no offence but this is terribly terribly cliched, and i dont feel it is all that well written - 4 -

interesting and i like some of the word choice especially at the end, however it often at times seems just a bit forced and im not quite sure i get the purpose of this poem - 6 -

ah, id say this is just a tab bit cliched, and the rhyming is stale and seems forced, you also spelled souless wrong i believe...the idea you are trying to convey are nice but I think you need to liven it up a bit......- 5 -

ooh i love this im not sure if you were trying to convey an "inner" meaning, or if you were just giving an illustrative piece but either way i think its excellent - 10 -

ahhh.. those were the good old days when I could lie back on the sofa of an afternoon and slag away, unimpeded by the demanding task of critiquing poemes.

Well, it may have gone on a bit, but the first stanza made me guffaw with a recklessness I had not known since middle school. I think I will give you a real vote on this one, as it is a nice change-up from that programming hunger bullshit. You have earned it with what I percieve to be genuine repentance. Forgiveness is yours my child.

Well, if nothing else, at least this puddle of poorly executed drivel has sparked another masterpiece from -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. For providing the impetus for his his comment, I applaud you, and, really, I should vote 10 on this asinine ramble based on his comment alone. But I cannot, in good conscience, do so.

im not a very big fan of rhyming, and this does sound rather forced to me - 5-

very interesting, i like the images and the melody of it, but im not quite sure im understanding the full meaning

OK. Gayness should be legalised because by and large it's a victimless hobby, and giving homo couples a similar legal status to normals wouldn't really compromise the existing institution of marriage... but wait... what am I saying? "A victimless hobby"? What about all those leopards that have to die, just so gays can have leopard skin undergarments? What of all those poor, innocent cub scouts they keep chained up, and naked, in the vast labyrinth of catacombs that every gay household has beneath their dwelling? And what of the terrible pillow shortages that are sure to ravage the countryside as gays chomp their way through the nation's supply, wide eyed and oblivious, driven mad by the frenzied lusts of sexual immoderation? Quibbling aside, what I find truly "unbelievably appalling" about this poeme is that you don't seem to have thought about abortion at all. It's definitely not in the same ball park as legalised nonce marriage. To anyone who believes that the unborn child is a living human being, abortion is mass murder on a whopping scale. It's a matter of consistency. I mean, surely you must agree that expelling a foetus from the unmentionables and severing the umbilical cord doesn't, in itself, suddenly make the child sentient. The dumpling was sentient BEFORE it was excreted. Can you tell me you're honestly certain at what point a foetus has the right not to be murdered? Of course in cases where giving birth could seriously harm the mother one's mind has to parp, and give her some say in the matter, but at least admit that we're dealing with a conflict of rights here, and that abortion is a very serious issue indeed. -no vote-

I wish I had a degree in Ethnic Studies. It would be well ace.

"to quit" not "to quite". Other than that, ace. -8-

stiff as a board.

at least by the bay. that's just bloody good writing.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Brilliant. Should be a "pimple"

The seventh rose holds the caring I give so full and free I could be wrong, but I think you mean "hose"

The sentiment is hearthelt. The idea of relating sentiment to 12 roses is good. The 9th and 10th are especially nice. But too many lines try too hard to rhyme, and try too little for expression of the feelings you have. Line 2, for example, rhymes with Line 1, but should do more.