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We Have Nothing to Talk About (Free verse) by jessicazee
But my mouth keeps on opening Telling trade secrets, breaching slumber party Trance confessions, light as a feather, Stiff as a board, your fingers In circles on my temples. That was whiskies ago, In this city where beer is so sacred We converge, have toasts. A few topics attempt value… Bangs, noses, the price of pitchers… Three games of pinball and I’ll leave you a line in the bathroom Under the matchbook As long as you don’t kiss him While I’m gone.

Up the ladder: take it easy

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.537883
Overall Rank: 2545
Posted: March 3, 2005 12:37 AM PST; Last modified: March 3, 2005 12:37 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 3-Mar-05/6:35 AM | Reply
Gritty.
[9] Dovina @ 12.72.4.218 | 3-Mar-05/6:57 AM | Reply
Good. I think you could make it stronger by cutting a few words -
"trance" - 3 adjectives in a row. And a line break after "secrets."
"so" in line 7
[7] edpeterson @ 68.20.2.148 | 4-Mar-05/4:18 PM | Reply
stiff as a board.
237 view(s)




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