His Light

Member since 2005 · Posted 4 Mar 2005 · 2 comments

There he lay dead and soulless; With wounds to his head and chest. Blood seeps through my clothing As I clutch him to my breast. Eyes frozen in an endless stare, But I canât see him inside. My lip trembles as I tear â But I did not cry. My heart will never heal, From this fateful day. Heâs still inside my soul And his light will guide my way.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.20 weighted 4.90 rank 9824 views 170 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

2 comments

[5] crooked_smile 5-Mar-05/8:49 AM Reply

ah, id say this is just a tab bit cliched, and the rhyming is stale and seems forced, you also spelled souless wrong i believe...the idea you are trying to convey are nice but I think you need to liven it up a bit......- 5 -

[4] that_funny_girl 5-Mar-05/9:35 AM Reply

i agree basically with crooked_smile - but like it a little bit less - 4 -