| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
His Light (Free verse) by DevilBuni There he lay dead and soulless;
With wounds to his head and chest.
Blood seeps through my clothing
As I clutch him to my breast.
Eyes frozen in an endless stare,
But I canât see him inside.
My lip trembles as I tear â
But I did not cry.
My heart will never heal,
From this fateful day.
Heâs still inside my soul
And his light will guide my way.
Up the ladder:
i am probably on my 7th shot of vodka
Down the ladder:
The Cookies
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.2
Posted: March 4, 2005 10:04 PM PST; Last modified: March 4, 2005 10:04 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.904638 Overall Rank: 9842 Comments:
[5]
crooked_smile @ 205.188.116.135
|
5-Mar-05/8:49 AM
|
Reply
ah, id say this is just a tab bit cliched, and the rhyming is stale and seems forced, you also spelled souless wrong i believe...the idea you are trying to convey are nice but I think you need to liven it up a bit......- 5 -
i agree basically with crooked_smile - but like it a little bit less - 4 -
170 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
