zodiac
replying on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT
11 Mar 2005, 9:19 PM
How far would you go to avoid the appearance of agreeing with us? Would you, um, suck a cock? Do you think that's very healthy?
PS-Obvious is only an adjective, not a noun. Sorry. :-(
The last 2 lines I didn't put in at first. But when I read it back I thought something was missing and so this how the last two lines were created. Weak yes, but for now they work untill I can think of something better. But Yes I agree with what you are saying.
That I would make for you something, you will use to judge me later(Still refering to the poem writing). The gun itself is used as a Judgement(I.E. Grades).
Unless I misunderstand entirely.
<3 Jason
Its good because of more than just that. Look carefully, its actually quite a bold and beautiful statement.
Well they're going to kill me for revealing this but... Yes there is an 8th day. The thing is, its not a day with a night, and nice round even numbers. Haven't you ever noticed the extra hours that just seem to have slipped themselves between minutes. Those are the 8th day.
<3 Jason
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on an unbiased voice (or the most biased one you'll hear) by i_am_the_popsicle
11 Mar 2005, 3:34 PM
Nice Bias, way to go you with eveness and balance. Now, do us all a favor, and add a few more points to your overall score by proof reading before you post. I didn't catch any spelling errors, but a crapload of inproper tense, and other bits that I had to decipher the lay of the text before they made sense. They really hurt this.
<3 Jason -7-
See the answer to Dovina above and the comment by Goad. Though I do see the opener as kind of a hiccup.
"like an imprint of perfection burned inside my soul"
don't like it. I think you can do better. I also don't like the closing lines. I think they can go. But that's just opinion.
I put it back because it is hard to believe that in the entire history of poetry that every single poem that ever went to print was one hundred percent grammatically correct. If that was actually the case, there would be no poetry. It would all be newspaper articles. Therefore, I have ruled on the aforementioned request and I therefore rule:
I rule.
line 4: change gentle to genital and I will upgrade my 0 to a 2.
this thread of discussion has caused me to drop a plump in my trousers
LOL. Wish i had written that comment
-=100000000000=-
Your just moody because you're incrowd consists of you, jroday and al-naafiysh. And let's not forget that jroday and al-naafiysh are two individuals who took time out of their busy schedules to discuss whether or not an individual black person was more diverse than an individual white person. You can't get more bow'ls than that.
lol
What sort of generic claptrap do you call this? How dare you sully the mantle with such a dumpling? Go away and don't come back until you've actually come up with an idea. This is a non-poeme. -10-
Iâm sorry you detected anger here. I wrote it with a touch of sarcasm to be sure, but in a jesting mood. Yes, some of the in-crowd conformities here on poemranker seem silly and need a jab occasionally, but nobody in her right mind expects to change anything, so anger is senseless.
Iâm also sorry you found it dull, dull, dull, or maybe you meant the âin-crowd rulesâ not the poem. In any case it got some attention, and thatâs more than I can say for âThe Hawk.â
and it makes a difference if you want anybody to know what the fuck you are talking about.
whose "best solution"? whose approval? I don't see anyone suggesting a solution, nor anyone seeking approval. Verdict: Very Dim.