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Oceans love song (Free verse) by Stacy Stewart
Your face ripples throughout the days and caressed by the moonlight of the nights. You pleasure me with your gentle touch, and your warning cries of a starboard buoy placed far beyond my dreams. Its the image you leave like an imprint of perfection burned inside my soul. The warmness of inhabitable hopes glistening to the songs below, but I Keep listening to the low tide hoping to hear your breath. Always lurching on the bars of waves stretched across the vast sound of glory and grace. Each breaker’s damp white hem billowed by the rocks outlined in heavens imagination. Echoes your whispering voice saying my name, but never reaching far enough to splash your dreams upon my page of work. Cacophony of the oceans floor, a love song forever more.

Up the ladder: Sun Dogs
Down the ladder: A daisy chain for Nina

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 11
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
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.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.6
Weighted score: 5.190725
Overall Rank: 4716
Posted: March 11, 2005 7:29 AM PST; Last modified: March 11, 2005 10:59 AM PST
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Comments:
[0] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 11-Mar-05/7:33 AM | Reply
line 4: change gentle to genital and I will upgrade my 0 to a 2.
[8] INTRANSIT @ 152.163.100.67 | 11-Mar-05/11:35 AM | Reply
"like an imprint of perfection burned inside my soul"
don't like it. I think you can do better. I also don't like the closing lines. I think they can go. But that's just opinion.
[n/a] Stacy Stewart @ 71.98.1.126 > INTRANSIT | 11-Mar-05/4:30 PM | Reply
The last 2 lines I didn't put in at first. But when I read it back I thought something was missing and so this how the last two lines were created. Weak yes, but for now they work untill I can think of something better. But Yes I agree with what you are saying.
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