One of your best poems.-9-

Artfully done, but a tad long for a first exposure. I would need to be a fan to commit to such a lengthy verse, and as it is, I admit to skimming toward the end there. I hope the others are more accessible - but this one; very nice anyway. (a few typos, btw - a quick spell check will reveal them)

good one.

Now that I've calmed down from my little catfight with god'swife (and by the way I appreciate your comments there) I'll say something about your poem. I like the feel of it. That's not astute, but it's the kinda thing that gets you through the night. Cheers.

Why would she feel hate? She is content alone. He has problems, but the last line doesn't seem to work for her.

The first line of the second stanza would sound better if it were "Huge creatures lumbered here once, lowed their song", with the line broken wherever you want. The word "utterly" needs replacing more than "huge" does.

You retard. This poem is a soggy Christmas-sock full of errors. First, you've gotten god'swife and me hopelessly confused. We are not the same person. Second, neither of us said either of the things you attribute to (one of) us, you fuckwit. god'swife said "I'm going through big changes right now and a kind of rebuilding of my self knowledge". I said "I want the cool kids to like me". If you're going to mash our quotes together like some hideous cheesy prawne-log, at least use our real words. As it happens, I wouldn't be caught dead saying either "wanna" or "hang with", both of which I consider embarassingly 'pop culture'. Third, your a fuckwit. Fourth, as it happens, I WAS bullied at grade-school, but now I'm a 'real-world success story' after only seven years of Accredited Poetry School. Last Harvest Festival, the townfolk voted me King Cornhusk. Fifthly, my definition of poetry is the correct one. Yours is not. And Lastly, your a cock. I've never said everyone who lives in China is a Chinaman. Anyone knows Tibetians and Mongoloids also inhabit the Chinkish territories. -10-

How 'bout "skuldouggery".

I quite agree!You and your poetry are actualized shit.I understand the jest of your statement,but that's no excuse to lower yourself to the same level.Besides I highly doubt you know anything about the essence of blackness, being the pasty scotsman you are.Good job jackass you created nine lines of artless, barbarous shit.

Anytime you can take two apparently unrelated things and make one a metaphor for the other, you're into the dancefloor of poetry. Some of your wording is hard to follow, but what you are doing is not. I'll take that anyday over a perfectly formed poem with nothing to say.

How about "Go fuck yourself motherfucker,goddamn cunt-bitch-WHORE"? Brilliant!

awesome

That's a nice little fairy-tale, but I don't buy it.

And you misspelled innuendo.

re "At any moment the climb turns. And you're falling down but still aware of the handles you're passing up." Are you just using 'you' to be chatty, or are you seriously assuming we're all the same kind of self-absorbed impotents that your narrator is?

Get the hose Marge, them pasty Scotsmen done got in the trash again.

I prefer hyphenation so you may want to court elsewhere. I Dov- in- a- pond, and none of them knew me.

Is it AN ILLEGAL HOUSE-PRAWNE???!!?!!/1

Another enormous let-down.

I like the thrust of this poem, its persistance toward the end, its showing how cynics' needles hurt like the real ones. You also run the course fron infatuation to dissillusion with haroin. Good. "There is no antidote for lonliness except ill hope"