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Skuld Resurrected (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
The quiet hum of words fade into each other, stuttered-stumbling, confused, voice tight, amped by vapored lungs-- a yearning satisfied an itch scratched, a fist held in defiance. It could be nothing, sure, but that don't mean poetry's dead. (you motherfucker.) Melded minds entwine in collaboration, at ease, taking in the twisted lines-- (blurred by bad articulation.) everything taken half-heartedly, a grain of salt; simple, salty bitterness making it all the more sweet. Theres no need to change a damned thing; we can't, it's hopeless, it's futile. It's the thing fools do again and again and again in retardation-- (but it works.) without sense in isolated drug space expressing dead stirrings-- (pounding.) on a wall of words turned to thoughts thoughts to feelings. (assumptions into sweet nothings.) Poetry's not dead, not old, it's young, ruthless-- a gang of hoodlums amounting to nothing, screaming "go fuck yourself motherfucker, goddamn cunt-bitch-WHORE." beating this hopeless rebellion (but we ain't dead.) into your fucking skull: We amount to something; something savage, violent, frenzied-- a tempest deepening.

Up the ladder: Tulips and Roses
Down the ladder: My Love

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.75
Weighted score: 4.970199
Overall Rank: 8384
Posted: June 22, 2004 12:42 PM PDT; Last modified: June 23, 2004 11:05 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] god'swife @ 4.233.113.83 | 22-Jun-04/1:20 PM | Reply
The last four stanza I love.

In the first stanza you write

The quiet hum of the words
seem to fade into
each other in ...

Yuo can't say that, 'The quiet hum...seem to...', you see you continuing the sentence as if the subject was 'words' but it's not, it's 'hum'. 'words' is the subject of the preposition.


The quiet hum of words fading
into each other.

Or something like that.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 66.52.131.136 > god'swife | 22-Jun-04/2:18 PM | Reply
Curse me and my quirks with english. It shall be fixed, thank you for pointing it out, I'm always missing these things when looking over and touching up my work.. ;/
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.130.62.63 | 22-Jun-04/4:42 PM | Reply
Nudered
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.165.10 > horus8 | 22-Jun-04/9:36 PM | Reply
Neutered?
[7] god'swife @ 209.178.153.39 | 23-Jun-04/1:49 PM | Reply
what's the name of the muse for poetry? Is it Caliope? No, I think she's music. Oh and stop saying 'it'.

Anyway you could call it

(POETRY MUSE'S NAME) Resurrected

Works better if you personify poetry with either a 'he' or a 'she'.
[n/a] zodiac @ 65.161.41.48 > god'swife | 23-Jun-04/3:25 PM | Reply
I think it's beautiful that despite that you can't remember the names of the muses of poetry, you feel a close enough connection to them to suggest naming a poem after them. Tell me, do you really believe in Muses, or do you think they're just handy, cool-sounding literary devices?

PS-It's Calliope for epics, Erato for love, and Euterpe for lyrics.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.169.107 > god'swife | 23-Jun-04/10:55 PM | Reply
I can understand that.. "it" indicates an inanimate object or thing instead of something living.. I'll certainly keep that in mind.
[4] Doug @ 205.188.116.140 | 23-Jun-04/2:36 PM | Reply
How about "Go fuck yourself motherfucker,goddamn cunt-bitch-WHORE"? Brilliant!
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.169.107 > Doug | 23-Jun-04/10:57 PM | Reply
How amusing doug! Did you ever consider doing stand up on dirty street corners with bums for bodyguards (paid with cheap liquor)?

Could be a lucrative adventure for you..
[4] Doug @ 205.188.117.6 > SupremeDreamer | 24-Jun-04/1:22 PM | Reply
How do you know what I do for a living? Strange,but my bodyguards
are sheep lickers and I'm paid with dirty bums.
Not so lucrative though.
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 | 23-Jun-04/4:11 PM | Reply
How 'bout "skuldouggery".
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.169.107 | 23-Jun-04/11:03 PM | Reply
Well, I've taken into consideration the only two suggestions for a title, and have decided to use a hybrid of both.. sort of.

Behold its new title: Skuld Resurrected. (Skuld is the Norse goddess of fate, future.. seems that I'm having a sudden flare for mythology these days.)

Any objections or other reactions are welcomed.
[4] donmiguel1960 @ 68.96.168.211 | 23-Jun-04/11:49 PM | Reply
confusing
[7] wilco @ 24.176.102.131 | 24-Jun-04/12:35 PM | Reply
Not that am bothered by it, but I think all the profanity takes away from it.
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