Vote on mine I'll vote on yours!

I wish I had more time.

Man vs. nature. I enjoyed reading! 9

Only great to those who find nothing greater, and I have seen better. Nevertheless, *9.9*

Enjoyable, I can allmost see you behind those walls.

Evocative. Good use of dark, quiet images.

Excellently done DGB.

I felt just like this once...a couple of times.

Lyrics are tough to rate because of the singsong nature of the meter and the rhyme. I think it would work as long as Bono or Sting don't sing it.

Death looks like my ex-mother-in-law to me. But each of us has our own boogie(sic) man we see, now that Rick James is dead.

Verse 2 is great. The last verse seems trite in comparison.

Narrow space between the fog and the ground. Just right for crawling.

concerned. intersting. not sure i like it but it's better than the first time 'round

I think you would do better to lose any rhyme here, even accidental. Good to see ya.

Well well.. old friend, how are you on this shadowed day?

very nice, D. Poetic and all that. :0)

yep, verse 2 is good. I like 3 too, but 2 is better.

I'm changing my name to: Man who speaks like Fire Engine. whaddaya think? i got nuthin.

I see you pulled into a truc-um-up-stop for a little web-time with the home folks. Well, glad you did, we’re still here, but little’s goin’ on. Mostly, everyone’s ignoring the poems and arguin’ about racism and sex on somebody’s posting. Hit chat if you want. I’ll say your poem is good, and if your’re nice, give a 9 or sompn’. Welcome back.

Compare this to the one you have on the best list. You used an image there. There are no images here. It's all telling and no showing. Find an image. Stay away from stone and God. Too cliche. Use the brown cloud as a kind of hazy security blanket. Or something else. look around. Possibility is everywhere. Try again, I know you can do this. The next time you make the top, it won't be an accident. Keep reading too. XOI