*10*

*8*

Please...

Pretty. I like it.

So true. Well done.

meh.

First verse is great. The rest needs direction.

The best I've seen from you in a while, my friend.

I do like this particular poem,but I really love the idea behind it.It could be awesome with just a bit of revision. -9-

Eyes moving about while the lids are closed. She's upset. I hate those kinda nights. Good poem.

A nostalgic neighborhood tour with lots of questions for one not acquainted with yours. Mine is very clear too.

All us stoke victims know all about the Penumbra. -9-

I just started a poem with this thought last night.

Even the doorknob becomes grief when grief is there. "The stoic moon shares it's lonely glow as if it knows."

Yep, "there's a thunder" brewing below my chaps. It's almost my turn in the pie aborting contest.

I printed this poem out and went to the restroom to read it. As it came to it's climax, my nut-filled bowl came to its own. Oh was that bowel? Nuts! Good. No, really! -10- Now I'll go back to wipe.

Nothing makes the night seem lonely "like" the soft fluttering in her shuttered eyes. This structure seems awkward to me. I know that "Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven and Pillsbury says it best" but, perhaps, a more direct approach to say this important thing? "The night is made more lonely by the soft, etc." You are the creator. Let not my will but yours be done. Even with the slightly uncomfortable second coming (stanza), it is very evocative of 13 years of nights spent with my ex-wife. -10-

Ingrinable. 9.

You should save up money to buy a keyboard with a shift button. 3.

You're an idiot.