Sasha
on The Dovina Limericks by Everyone
16 Sep 2004, 1:33 PM
Hilarity!
Wyt ti wedi ddarllen "Ty'r ysgol" gan T. H Parry Williams? Mae'n amddangos bod y gerdd hyn yn ateb yn ôl i'w soned.
Impressive, I believe it fits you well, I was impressed with your perception the other night, I'm just curious how you knew?
Ydy'r gerdd hyn yn gael ei dylanwadu gan "Rhyfel" Hedd Wyn?
Gwae fi fy myw mewn oes mor ddreng
A Duw ar drai ar orwel pell;
O'i ôl mae dyn, yn deyrn a gwreng,
Yn codi ei awdurdod hell.
Pan deimlodd fyned ymaith Dduw
Cyfododd gledd i ladd ei frawd;
Mae swn yr ymladd ar ein clyw,
A'i gysgod ar fythynnod tlawd.
Mae'r hen delynau genid gynt
Ynghrog ar gangau'r helyg draw,
A gwaed y bechgyn lond y gwynt,
A'u gwaed yn gymysg efo'r glaw
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j
It really sounds like Morgenstern! Du hast etwas ganz gut gemacht.
I could really go for a fat spank of skank right now, for certain.
I love how you introduced the clown so fittingly into this lesbian zoo.
Heavy...
A vintage fender amp with pint stains.
Very nice indeed. I've just left Swansea, rainiest city in the UK.
I would reply to you in Welsh, but I'm not really good enough to discuss poetry yet (I've been learning for about three years).
Hmm I like this one but not as much.
I think "glides in silent gear" is not very Morgenstern like and isn't a very good translation for "der still im Ãther schwimmt"
Also you translate "das eigne Herz" (one's own heart) as "the heart of mine" and use the first person pronoun where it doesen't exist in the original, which completely crushes the charming ambiguity of the second stanza.
"In whose eyes sank my sense and mind" is archaic and sounds like german syntax. It is not natural in a translation of an idiomatic spontaneous poet like Morgenstern.
Though you have to make changes and substitutions for the sake of cadence in any good translation, you should be aware of what those substitutions are and how they affect the poem.
I liked this.
Except for the me be me me me be me see me thing you got going.
Lol, thank you.
I'm a jelly guy.
Have you ever just written a poem about a rock, or a tree for fuck's sake? I mean it's constantly this warped vision of face sucking drivel and thrown rice. SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP!!!! Good god, you give me such gas.
Amazing.
Would I go lesbo for this chick? Haha, good job.
9... AIDS is fun...