blacksoul
on Disable by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
22 Dec 2004, 12:22 PM
Did'nt mean any harm man.
There was a young girl called Joanna
with a face shaped like a banana.
Her boyfriend said so,
I want you to know,
she's bent and comes from Havana.
Move on, you lost your virginity. The world is full of predators who take what they want or are offered it on a plate. It taught you a lesson, it's called the getting of wisdom. Let your next poem be a happy one,it lies within you, let it free.
It's always a time for celebration, the day you finally become housebroken. For what you once thought would suddenly flee, is now under firm command. You've learned to let go, my son. It's a lesson that will stay with you for many years to come, until, of course, you become an elderly. Here's to life, love, and the unpampered pursuit of happiness. Welcome to The Rutherford Club.
So did you visit my poems to analyse it and give a honest comment or just take out your spite coz' I said your poem isn't classy?? Do read my profile, I never claimed to write well. I know my poetry sucks. Besides, English is NOT my language and I am just 17. I just told you what I felt about your poem, I didn't take out any personal grudges. I am open to criticism but it should be done in a positive way, not insulted.
All of these descriptions apply to most animals in the wild. The only place they don't look like that is in zoos, where we gussy them up like underage Melbourne hookers according to our idea of what Nature's all about.
Concerning the "metaphor": Yes.
my mom only has one
Not bad bro.-8-
I can dig it doc.-10-
I found this poeme incredibly hurtful. My mother actually is handicapped, and when I see people like you trivialising something that is a serious problem for many real people, it makes me angry and sad. <no vote>
So your goodbye was not final.
We have two theories here on Poemranker:
1. Poets, who are dim, write nonsense.
2. Poets who are dim write nonsense.
I see -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. adheres to both.
Which do you prefer?
Good.
Line 2 - "And rest"
Ling 3 - "descending."
At least you're not assuming we know the setting this time. This is good. Verses 5,6 and 7 need some opening transition, I think.
I agree with Dovina. good poem work on it a little more
To your comment on my brother poem is about our mother It wasn't meant to be taken that way. It was about our mother trying to raise six kids before she died.
My father is handicapped he has complex Partial Seizures. He just had his second brain surgery in nov.
he was doing fine until the other day,he had another seizure, and now he's in a coma. so I know how you feel, because I told him not to post that shit people
might take it the wrong way. By the way my father is jroday he talk about you and dovina alot he was ya'll
number fan on this site. I will be posting his poems
Felicia
I dont want to know you
Retibution is only exceeded in sweetness by ridicule.
restrain->restraint
"love's soothing touch AND scalding strike" good line.
It did seem like killing myself the first time he did that. You're right, it's about virginity.
Go back to wherever you were.