One of your best in a while.

I went to college in Schnectady.

Need to fix your meter here and check your spelling.

I don't know how good of a song this would make, but it works as a poem too.

Perfidy, great word. I'm not really liking this too much but I'm going to give you an 8 just for that.

I'm sorry. i want to help but I just don't think anything's going to do this any good.

Not bad. I thing the smart tart bit could be better, but I like the fruit/potatoes lines.

I'm really not sure what's going on here...maybe you could add a little bit more to help paint at least a little bit better picture. I'm all about abstract, but you gotta give a little more I think.

"Man if I did what I wanted It would leave you daunted" I dunno..Thats the only part I like.

Makes tons of sense that you never made it past base 2 with the dude in the bleachers, perhaps you need a good shave?, or a night light to guide your non spatially aware ass.

Comma after love in fourth verse I presume. Love's only potatoes made me giggle. Personally I would have put it at the start, dare the narrator to explain herself on the whole love spud thing.

Hm. Cliche'd subject? But shows signs of poetry! Cut "shattered glass".

I wrote this poem when I was 15, I submitted it hoping that I would recieve helpful criticism. The spelling errors are due to my putting the poem in while at work, therefore on a time restriction. Any comments that will actually help would be appreciated. Otherwise, thanks for nothing.

I was definitely not expecting that at the end, but the poem is great. It left me wishing there was more to it.

Ok, how's this: It makes sense, it just sucks. :0)

Not the worst, but far from the best.

Hmmm what makes me think I've heard this one before?

Have you ever seen that movie about the red balloon I don't remember what it's called but it almost makes ya want to cry at parts?

Whoa, I like this one It feels really real

Don't we all.