I agree. Verse 4 has potential - could become the poem.

I like the audiance sarcasm in the first verse - a funny twist.

Rich with language. Although it evokes grand visions of the night, I look for meaning and shall perhaps look again.

I have never had occasion to read such gut wrenching commments beneath a poeme in my wasted life.

Cool dude. I like it.

Could have been better (smile)

I know it is in bad taste to say something when your clearly aching with sorrow over the loss of your second cousin but this poem just lacks something, I can't put my finger on it but it will come to me...

What a coincidence! I too am listening to some very soft and sad music right this very moment. I seem to have lost my blacket, though. You're gay. Please, end the buffoonery.

and then he pulled it out and made her smoke it.

I love the way you rhyme mind with mind. It is stench. very nice.

after 6 drinks and whatever else, yeah, why not?

Then send it to Danny's friends. It's not polished enough for general audiances.

The sentiment is hearthelt. The idea of relating sentiment to 12 roses is good. The 9th and 10th are especially nice. But too many lines try too hard to rhyme, and try too little for expression of the feelings you have. Line 2, for example, rhymes with Line 1, but should do more.

The seventh rose holds the caring I give so full and free I could be wrong, but I think you mean "hose"

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Brilliant. Should be a "pimple"

at least by the bay. that's just bloody good writing.

stiff as a board.

"to quit" not "to quite". Other than that, ace. -8-

I wish I had a degree in Ethnic Studies. It would be well ace.

OK. Gayness should be legalised because by and large it's a victimless hobby, and giving homo couples a similar legal status to normals wouldn't really compromise the existing institution of marriage... but wait... what am I saying? "A victimless hobby"? What about all those leopards that have to die, just so gays can have leopard skin undergarments? What of all those poor, innocent cub scouts they keep chained up, and naked, in the vast labyrinth of catacombs that every gay household has beneath their dwelling? And what of the terrible pillow shortages that are sure to ravage the countryside as gays chomp their way through the nation's supply, wide eyed and oblivious, driven mad by the frenzied lusts of sexual immoderation? Quibbling aside, what I find truly "unbelievably appalling" about this poeme is that you don't seem to have thought about abortion at all. It's definitely not in the same ball park as legalised nonce marriage. To anyone who believes that the unborn child is a living human being, abortion is mass murder on a whopping scale. It's a matter of consistency. I mean, surely you must agree that expelling a foetus from the unmentionables and severing the umbilical cord doesn't, in itself, suddenly make the child sentient. The dumpling was sentient BEFORE it was excreted. Can you tell me you're honestly certain at what point a foetus has the right not to be murdered? Of course in cases where giving birth could seriously harm the mother one's mind has to parp, and give her some say in the matter, but at least admit that we're dealing with a conflict of rights here, and that abortion is a very serious issue indeed. -no vote-