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In My Arms (Ode) by jroday
In My Arms. This yearning in my heart. This confusion in my mine. The words left unspoken. Haunts me all the time. Every day I watch you pass by. With an emptiness in my life, and a hole in my heart. Where only you belong. There are nights I wake up crying, and wishing you were here. To hold me in your arms, and kiss away my tears. There is something, that keeps me holding on- What? I'll never know. But one day things will go my way. Just remember these words I say.

Up the ladder: levity kiss
Down the ladder: Road Tripped

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6729
Posted: March 1, 2005 1:53 AM PST; Last modified: March 1, 2005 1:53 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Dovina @ 12.72.12.176 | 1-Mar-05/9:03 AM | Reply
Drop the first line, since it's the same as the title, and change "mine" to "mind" in Line 3. Also, some of the punctuation is not needed. Otherwise pretty good.
[n/a] jroday @ 204.215.33.139 > Dovina | 1-Mar-05/10:14 AM | Reply
Thank's D my mind is really not on a poem right now. My father-in-law just passed away last week, and I could'nt go, because the
flight was to long for me due to my illness.al-naafisyh and her brothers went.
[8] al-naafiysh @ 204.215.33.140 | 4-Mar-05/2:33 AM | Reply
Could have been better (smile)
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