Re: Listless Nights by blindwriter	blindwriter 219.47.92.54	4-Apr-05/4:24 AM
Thanks. I have been trying to attain a certain level of abstract and visonarianism...but I don't seem to be able to manage. Probably not super enough to attempt the impossible. You're right about turbid. Will take your advice and try something a little simpler and easier to grasp. As for this poem, it was an experiment with a general tone, there really is no meaning...a slight parallel maybe...but no beginning or end.
Re: Unfinished Warrior by PodPoet	blindwriter 219.47.92.54	4-Apr-05/4:39 AM
Ferociousness is cumbersome. Especially as the rest of your poem is full of simple, short words. Try ferocity. I really like it. I really do. Don't know exactly why.
Re: Poem on a face by INTRANSIT	Dovina 12.72.5.215	4-Apr-05/8:30 AM
A nice mix of physical and verbal ugliness. It seems the last line might keep some of that.
Re: The Invitation by Billy Fights	Dovina 12.72.5.215	4-Apr-05/8:43 AM
If only she'd read it, she's swoon.
Re: Glory Bound by kazeaki	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:21 AM
"let them say you are of nothing made".....the whole inverting words to make things rhymes just doesnt sound good..
Re: Icarus Down by horus8	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:25 AM
i like this
Re: Was it real by mishy_lee	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:27 AM
"i'm dying here slowly" - this part sounds nice - but the rest seems kind of forced --
regarding some deleted poem...	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:27 AM
nice!
regarding some deleted poem...	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:29 AM
the rhyming is so forced that it distracted me from w/e you were trying to say.......
Re: Pleas Dont.. by MysticalRaven88	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:31 AM
we all suffer - suck it up if your feeling sad - this may sound good to you but to the rest of world its dribble - try writing about sadness when you're happy and happiness when you're sad - it works better that way
Re: What Does it Mean to be Human by Sterling5583	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:33 AM
good questions - not sure how well it would work in lyrical form....
Re: The Long Night by Tangerines	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:34 AM
i like the way this paints a pictures of the person, but is simply written
Re: Nobody's Story (A guide thru chaos) by horus8	dancin_n_da_moonlite 66.28.32.66	4-Apr-05/9:45 AM
10 because i didnt think someone could keep my attention for 14 minutes but you did -
Re: Listless Nights by blindwriter	tadpole 68.70.105.87	4-Apr-05/9:29 PM
I love it. . .it's like I can see the picture you painted with the poem in my mind
regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 172.212.94.236	5-Apr-05/7:21 AM
I really warmed to this one. It unfolds slowly like a bud then tulip bang ! One thing lines 6-7 you need only one 'and'. Strong.
Re: Three words and thirty coins by Caducus	fevriere 62.254.128.4	5-Apr-05/8:07 AM
Nyah.. I'm afraid this tastes a bit stale to me. "The God's"? Do you mean "the gods" or am I missing something? No vote - hoping it might be revised.
regarding some deleted poem...	fevriere 62.254.128.4	5-Apr-05/8:09 AM
I LOVE IT!
Re: Lost by skye	Dovina 12.72.14.10	5-Apr-05/11:24 AM
I've seen her, can feel her paranoia. Welcome to poemranker.
Re: Three words and thirty coins by Caducus	Dovina 12.72.14.10	5-Apr-05/11:30 AM
This is all very confusing.
Re: Lost by skye	skye 24.95.245.159	5-Apr-05/11:52 AM
Thank you Dovina, so nice to meet you! skye