regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 172.203.166.88	26-Apr-05/6:16 AM
long distance love is a real fucker.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	26-Apr-05/8:33 AM
Huge.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	26-Apr-05/8:33 AM
Huge.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	26-Apr-05/8:33 AM
Huge.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	26-Apr-05/8:33 AM
Huge.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	26-Apr-05/8:33 AM
Huge.
Re: Whales by Jeremi B. Handrinos	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	26-Apr-05/3:53 PM
That last haiku seems really awkward and out of place with the other two.
Re: am i right? by celticskatermatt1	Dovina 204.250.12.246	26-Apr-05/4:51 PM
"will we/they ever see the truth?" is the most overused and senseless line in all of poesy.
Re: Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine	Dovina 204.250.12.246	26-Apr-05/4:55 PM
The last line kills it. Happiness is not at the bottom of a bottle.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 204.250.12.246	26-Apr-05/5:02 PM
The last line double negative doesn't cut it. "I only find in dreams, and yesterday" is good, sans the comma. Some strange lines, like 5 - 7. Almost wish you'd begin with verse 3.
Re: Crossing the Mojave by INTRANSIT	AuntyM 205.188.116.72	26-Apr-05/8:01 PM
And yours is better...how? Your brilliant recreation is NOT a Villanelle, so comparing the two proves quite difficult!
regarding some deleted poem...	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	26-Apr-05/8:24 PM
I really like the idea behind this (and especially the first stanza) but the word choice could be better. The words feel a little mundane. It doesn't quite flow together.
Re: Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	26-Apr-05/8:28 PM
Aside from some typos, I really, really, really like the first two stanzas. After that, it's like, "I get it. Don't throttle it."
Re: I do... Not! by Billy Fights	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	27-Apr-05/1:02 AM
Great song lyrics. Do you play an instrument? 9
Re: Untitled by nothingtoanyone	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	27-Apr-05/1:05 AM
Love "darkened yellow". Wished you could stray from "cry" and "high" rhyme scheme, but still was pulled in by beautiful line geometry anyhoo....8.3
Re: Somehow, Hope by DeadtotheWorld	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	27-Apr-05/1:09 AM
I kind of get where you're coming from...but to make it more accessible (without, I think, losing your mysteriousness)...omit the capitalized "Sweet" and "Endeavor" and maybe replace with more concrete sentiment...i.e. colors/places/smells that are real to you...will make your excellent last two lines more meaningful. So close.
Re: am i right? by celticskatermatt1	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	27-Apr-05/1:13 AM
2nd line...should be "you're" instead of "your". You have so much feeling here...try to relate it to us in real language...pretend like you are telling your best friend how you feel in this poem in real words, instead of trying to "write a poem." Because I think you can. More, please.
regarding some deleted poem...	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	27-Apr-05/1:16 AM
Don't try so hard. Plus, you forgot "anvil" and "tranquil."
Re: Panama by Dovina	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:20 AM
This is good, really. But something I just noticed is that all the sentences you write have essentially the same structure. At least, if they don't have the same structure, they sound really similar. Yes, I know here (and in another of your recent ones I just read) you're doing it on purpose. But it doesn't seem to work for me, not the intentional repetition (unaware/aware) nor the unintentional (strings of noun phrases and compound predicates with nary a subject in sight.) Still, this is good.
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:26 AM
You should make the hyphenation consistent. What about "worry-stricken" and "lightning-eyed"?