A native what? American? Is the last stanza supposed to be ironic? There are subtle touches to this that I like, but they don't go anywhere at all.

A lot of Sound and Fury, as they say.

i find myuself agreeing with dovina--the third stanza is where the writing kicks in strong; the first two are a set-upthat i don't really think you need as you show it in the other two.

Hey, great title!

the first 4 stanzas reeled me in, vivid world. you lost me when you started with her thinking about the lingere--what does that have to do with the lost key? okay, i say, maybe he'll pull it together later, and i read on. and then you offer me the last chance--the scallops on the stove and the half-naked woman--and still, no key. okay, i get it it, but the integrration needs work. her sudden realization that 'it isn't here'--why is that an 'of course' reaction?

You should try about a gallon of Ny-quil.

Verses 1 and 2 flow well. Verse 3 starts a transition (knew is really known or new) "She's a lowland topography to her life" is good. Some lines seem unrelated, like, "a man never lost without thinking the word new"

Please, for the love of God, stop using the word meta in your poems.

bossa nova is in Portuguese, not Spanish.

Provocative, but lacking whatever it was that connected them and a reason for the love-lilling.

Well told story. Why did she do it? - that's the lingering question. Welcome to poemranker.

That's not really a poem so much as it is a series of questions. And, if nothing else, I think poetry should answer more questions than it raises.

First 2 stanzas are very clever and quite amusing, after that you try to be too clever...let's face it, most people will think you've made a typo when you say 'cresset of the moon'. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm simply retarded.

Why bracket the 2nd to last line? It works fine without.

will never love again might close stronger.

30 views, but neither comments nor votes. is it really that breathtaking? Tsk, I give myself an 8.

I liked the part about the Kamikaze pilot names. Everything else is nonsense. And not the good kind, either.

Ooh. This could be good if there were more to it. It seems less like poetry and more like "microfiction."

Too many metaphors. It also seems to take itself maybe a little too seriously, with all its pomp and grandiosity.

Uh...what? Also, hey, whatever happened to Haikus just being, you know, one stanza?