Re: I do... Not! by Billy Fights	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:27 AM
Hey, great title!
Re: Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	<~> 167.206.181.179	27-Apr-05/6:29 AM
the first 4 stanzas reeled me in, vivid world. you lost me when you started with her thinking about the lingere--what does that have to do with the lost key? okay, i say, maybe he'll pull it together later, and i read on. and then you offer me the last chance--the scallops on the stove and the half-naked woman--and still, no key. okay, i get it it, but the integrration needs work. her sudden realization that 'it isn't here'--why is that an 'of course' reaction?
regarding some deleted poem...	<~> 167.206.181.179	27-Apr-05/6:33 AM
i find myuself agreeing with dovina--the third stanza is where the writing kicks in strong; the first two are a set-upthat i don't really think you need as you show it in the other two.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:38 AM
You should try about a gallon of Ny-quil.
Re: Lost key for a hall-closet by zodiac	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/6:41 AM
Verses 1 and 2 flow well. Verse 3 starts a transition (knew is really known or new) "She's a lowland topography to her life" is good. Some lines seem unrelated, like, "a man never lost without thinking the word new"
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:52 AM
Please, for the love of God, stop using the word meta in your poems.
Re: Ode To The Fly In My Beer by ChaseValentine	zodiac 213.186.171.241	27-Apr-05/6:52 AM
bossa nova is in Portuguese, not Spanish.
Re: I killed you in New Mexico by sunset sky	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/6:56 AM
Provocative, but lacking whatever it was that connected them and a reason for the love-lilling.
Re: Sailor Dress by sunset sky	Dovina 204.250.12.246	27-Apr-05/7:01 AM
Well told story. Why did she do it? - that's the lingering question. Welcome to poemranker.
regarding some deleted poem...	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/9:51 AM
That's not really a poem so much as it is a series of questions. And, if nothing else, I think poetry should answer more questions than it raises.
Re: Breakfast by James Rykelangeli	Ranger 131.251.0.55	27-Apr-05/9:59 AM
First 2 stanzas are very clever and quite amusing, after that you try to be too clever...let's face it, most people will think you've made a typo when you say 'cresset of the moon'. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm simply retarded.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 131.251.0.55	27-Apr-05/10:01 AM
Why bracket the 2nd to last line? It works fine without.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shardik 66.77.102.10	27-Apr-05/1:13 PM
will never love again might close stronger.
regarding some deleted poem...	patty t 69.194.15.29	27-Apr-05/1:17 PM
30 views, but neither comments nor votes. is it really that breathtaking? Tsk, I give myself an 8.
Re: Smoking Clitoris with PHD handles by <{Baba^Yaga}>	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:21 PM
I liked the part about the Kamikaze pilot names. Everything else is nonsense. And not the good kind, either.
Re: L'Étoile by Shardik	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:26 PM
Ooh. This could be good if there were more to it. It seems less like poetry and more like "microfiction."
regarding some deleted poem...	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:32 PM
Too many metaphors. It also seems to take itself maybe a little too seriously, with all its pomp and grandiosity.
Re: LIVE FROM CHEYENNE,WY. "The Forgeters!" by horus8	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:35 PM
Uh...what? Also, hey, whatever happened to Haikus just being, you know, one stanza?
Re: Tunder by Bakar	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:37 PM
A native what? American? Is the last stanza supposed to be ironic? There are subtle touches to this that I like, but they don't go anywhere at all.
Re: ebb flow by crwncka1	ChaseValentine 199.79.168.160	27-Apr-05/2:41 PM
A lot of Sound and Fury, as they say.